Dave Barry's Blog

WE'LL JUST HAVE THE FRIES, THEN

Your Hamburger May Have Feces Inside of It

Possible explanation here.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

'WHY IS THE DOG GLOWING, DEAR?'

‘Over the years I’ve seen plenty of cases of dogs swallowing strange objects – socks, dummies, rubber ducks, but it’s the first time any of us have treated a dog that has actually eaten fairy lights.'

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

A DAD faces jail after admitting to biting off another man's finger at a school nativity play.

(Thanks to DaninTustin)

MUST BE QUITE A CAKE

Porcelain manufacturers only get petty pieces of 5 trillion dong cake

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

NEWS YOU CAN USE

Squeezing breasts 'could stop growth of cancer cells'

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

A SPECIAL GIFT FOR A SPECIAL PERSON

Balding Post-It Notes

(Thanks to The Perts)

SEND THIS BIRD TO WASHINGTON

A rude myna bird has been put in solitary confinement at a zoo after shouting 'f*** you' at visitors.

(Thanks to DaninTustin)

SOMEBODY'S PROBABLY NOT GOING TO GET A VALENTINE'S-DAY CARD

An Illinois woman faces an aggravated domestic battery charge after burning the skin off of her boyfriend's testicles while running him over with a car, prosecutors said.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

YOU KNOW HE'LL WIND UP SITTING NEXT TO YOU

Man wears 70 items of clothing at airport to avoid baggage charge

(Thanks to Chuck Cody and Matt Filar)

WE ASK THAT YOU REFRAIN FROM MAKING BONE JOKES

A 37-year-old Swedish woman with an admitted obsession with skeletons has been convicted of disturbing the peace of the dead for allegedly using human bones for sexual purposes.

(Thanks to Loudmouth)

SPORTS UPDATE FROM ENGLAND

Nathan Grindal Kicked Out Of Darts Tournament For Looking Like Jesus

(Thanks to The Perts)

IT GETS LONELY UP THERE

A bunch of strangers cuddling and affectionately massaging each other in a room might sound a little odd but it’s becoming an increasingly popular event in Calgary.

(Thanks to The Perts)

INTERNET FAD ALERT

Now: Frosting.

(Thanks to Loudmouth)

HERE BOY!

Dingo steals woman's valuables

(Thanks to Omniskeptic and Janice Gelb)

THE NEWS FROM DOWN UNDER

A SANITARY product commercial that used the word "vagina" got more Australians' knickers in a twist than any other this year, finishing 2012 as the year's most complained about ad.

(Thanks to The Perts)