Dave Barry's Blog

UPDATE ON THE CONTINUED EROSION OF OUR FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS

A woman in China who named her dog after her neighbour and swore at it repeatedly has been ordered to pay £500 in compensation.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Fact That We Are In No Way Amused By: The neighbor's name is "Wang."

COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

Cops: Domestic Tiff Caused By Husband's Noxious Gas, Wife's Lysol Spray Rejoinder

(Thanks to Dad-O-Lot and Jeff Meyerson)

JERSEY

Naked Lyndhurst man allegedly sets fire to Paramus nursery

(Thanks to Barbara A)

WHOA

Commuters in Berlin got the fright of their lives last week when a woman boarded a subway train with her Shetland pony.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WAIT... LOSE WHAT?

Internet pornography 'can make you lose your memory'

(Thanks to John Finn)

MEN:

Do not click here.

Really. Do not.

("Thanks" to Unholy Slacker)

p.s. Really.

FLORIDA

My friend Jim DeFede, a veteran connoisseur of Florida weirdness, had me on his TV show yesterday morning to talk about 2012. We both wore blue shirts, because that is the kind of fashion animals we are.

(Thanks to WVPlantman)

ADORABLE, PERHAPS. BUT PROBABLY NOT HAPPY.

This Adorable Dog Can Smell Your Diarrhea Before It Happens

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THE TREE WAS THE ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN HIM AND FLORIDA

Drunk, naked man steals car in Pontiac, crashes into tree

(Thanks to Joseph McConnell)

CRUEL

A suburban Chicago high school fundraising to save a popular arts center is motivating students to donate with an earsplitting incentive: pay up and they'll stop blasting Justin Bieber's "Baby" during passing periods.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

CHRISTMAS IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER...

Smartphone-Controlled Toilet Includes Built-in Speakers So You Can Listen to Music, Costs Nearly $5,000