Dave Barry's Blog

ROMANTIC

Dennis Homberg Allegedly Broke Into Ex-Girlfriends Home, Glued Refrigerator Shut

(Thanks to Ralph)

GUESS THE STATE...

...where this individual was arrested:

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who's guessing he's single)

LET'S HOPE HE ENJOYED HIMSELF

Man ordered to pay $28,000 strip club tab

(Thanks to Omniskeptic)

INCREDIBLY, ALCOHOL APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN INVOLVED

Spanish police said they arrested a driver who was traveling 75 mph in a 50 mph zone and a second man who was riding on the vehicle's hood.

(Thanks to Omniskeptic)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Police said that Lewellen, who officers described as “still enraged” then “ran down” Miller, pushed a shopping cart into her back and then jumped onto Miller’s back and punched her in the face.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE FIND NOTHING AMUSING ABOUT ANYBODY'S NAME IN THIS ITEM

Martin was caught on videotape in August 2009 throwing her crutches into a car and running in high heels to meet her boyfriend at a public park, where she took part in a sex act that doctors concluded she couldn't have done with an injured ankle, District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe said.

(Thanks to Mark Buckley)

 

BUT THEY CAN'T REMEMBER A THING

Vodka saved elephants from cold, say Russian trainers

(Thanks to Mark Buckley and coscolo)

BELIEVED TO BE HEADED SOUTH

Man in duck mask robbed gas station

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

AND THAT'S JUST FOR ONE FLIGHT

Southwest Owes 5.8 Million Free Beers To Passengers

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

INCREDIBLY, THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

At 3:50 a.m., a caller reported that a resident at a SE Midway Boulevard location had attempted to circumcise himself.

(Thanks to Layzeeboy and B'game)