Dave Barry's Blog

BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS 'HAPPY HOLIDAYS' LIKE THE SQUATTING POSITION

Actual press release:

Need a good gift for health-conscious family and friends? Give the gift of a better bathroom experience this holiday season with the Squatty Potty, a toilet footstool that makes it easier to assume the squatting position for more effective colon elimination.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

NEVER GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT IT

Whisky saves man's eyesight after being blinded by vodka

(Thanks to padraig, who says, "The Irish have known this for centuries.")

MEANWHILE DOWN UNDER

Nudists caught short in record bid

(Thanks to Bill Moore, who says: "Especially the men. But in fairness, it was cold.")

WAIT... ZOMBIES ARE BUYING GUNS?

Zombies are among reasons for increased gun sales

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

EVEN CRANES CANNOT BE THAT STUPID

Biologists disguise themselves as cranes to lure endangered birds to their new home

(Thanks to Monique)

WE'RE WITH THEM

Study: Women spend more time ogling women

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

Police: Man threatened with hatchet on Thanksgiving over Trivial Pursuit question

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

STAY CLASSY, TURNER PRIZE

Turner Prize: Excrement Art Is Favourite

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

HOLIDAY GIFT UPDATE

Here you go.

(Thanks to John) (Yes, John)

SO HOW WAS YOUR COMMUTE?

THOUSANDS of lorries and cars were stuck in a monster 120 mile traffic jam between Moscow with Saint Petersburg – for more than two DAYS.

(Thanks to DaninTustin)

A FLORIDA LICENSE IS ON THE WAY...

...along with a snorkel.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS, THAT WE KNOW OF

AN American magician is recuperating after a television host set his head on fire with a flammable liquid.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

CANADA:

Land of Excitement

(Thanks to The Perts)

SOMEBODY NEEDS A SLINGSHOT

Geek dad builds helicopter to follow his son to the bus stop

(Thanks to The Perts)

ONE MORE HERALD HUNT POST

Here's a thorough review from the ever-diligent (yet insane) Andy the TropicHunt.com Guy.