WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER TRY TO ROB A CHINESE RESTAURANT WITHOUT AN INTERPRETER

However, the employees apparently had trouble understanding the robbers. Two of the masked men pounded on the register in an attempt to open it, accidentally firing a gun in the process.

Guess the state.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Comments

[random thunking]

"Gimme your cash!!"
"We no have gas, not gas station. You want nice lo mein?"
"I want the money, mudder fudder!!"
"Moon Yi, man here to see you."
"Open the fuggin' cash register!!"
"I tell you already, we not gas station. Lo mein very good today."
"OK. give me a chicken lo mein and an order of egg rolls."

[mazar larry]

You want fortune? We have much cookies.

[ligirl]

This is a chop-stick-up where???

[ligirl]

uh-oh.......sum ting wong

i fall on my sword

[ligirl]

so sorry to blake brog

[Ralph]

Guy to hot Chinese date: "How about some 69?"
Obtuse Oriental: "You want chicken with snow peas?"

[Clankazoid]

Charlie Chan was on a case and unavailable to interpret.

[Omniskeptic]

They should be glad it wasn't a German restaurant.

[Guin]

Really, ligirl, we can't take you anywhere.

[Jeff Meyerson]

"C'mon Hop Sing, I have a gub."

[HogsAteMySister]

My Chinese wife has the same language problem. She cannot understand a single word I am saying when I want money.

[Not My Usual Alias]

I lived in China for a year and for awhile retained the ability to understand conversations going on around me in Mandarin.

I was at a restaurant with my wife when an employeee came back from a delivery and said in Chinese, "I kept on telling the Big Nose that I didn't speak English and he finally stopped yelling."

I laughed. The employees began to wonder if I spoke Chinese, a conversation I was enjoying translating to my wife. It finally came down to a bet. The problem was trying to figure out who would ask, especially since it was potentially a customer service problem given the gist of the conversation.

The Hispanic busboy was recruited and offered 10% of the bet to ask me.

As he approached, I told him in English "10% is too little. You should get 20%."

The chef sent food home with us.

[Omniskeptic]

We were traveling in the Highlands (Scaaawtland, innit?) and had no trouble understanding the Scots when they spoke to us. When they spoke to each other, incomprehensible. Probably a code they use to keep the Sassenach in the dark.

[Dmentd]

Omni, many of the Base Exchange and Commissary employees when I was at GTMO were Jamaican. When they spoke to me, I could understand them just fine, but when they spoke to each other, although it was obvious that they were still speaking English (I could catch a word here and there,) they might as well have been speaking Chinese.

[Chris]

How do I know which restaurants have interpreters? Is it on the menu somewhere?

[Ralph]

Chris: Sometimes the menu is self-explanatory.