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November 16, 2012

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

New line of Cracker Jacks to contain caffeine

(Thanks to The Perts)

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CRACKER JACKED...sounds more like a Harlem police report to me


If the prizes are little bags of "Colorado brownies", Dave will need to rent a truck for all the Nobels.

The solid form of Red Bull. They ought to make Jack's dog more pit bullish.

As the cowboy probably never said: I'll have de calf...

'Cracker Jack Bauers':

Snacks with IMPACT, d@mmit!

*shoots hostess in the thigh*

Right now cracker jack has a real diamond give away advertised on the front of the package. Prize of a lifetime. Never thought I would see the day that the prize inside would be a diamond.

Wait for the next announcement. If they dodge prosecution on this one, the obvious next step is a delta-9 THC version, Cracker-Whacked.

And let's all do our best to forget the scene from 1942 where the enemy sub crew are trying to get the snack-box-prize compass back from Slim Pickens.

The diamond will never make up for all those lousy years of fake tattoos and stickers, no matter how big it is...

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