Dave Barry's Blog

MAY HE ROOT IN PEACE

A Minnesota woman said the funeral for her late boyfriend will involve pizza and watching the Minnesota Vikings take on the Green Bay Packers.

(Thanks to Ralph)

SOUTH FLORIDA WEATHER FORECAST

Mostly sunny, with a chance of hairballs.

(Thanks to James in NC)

JUST FYI

"Thank you to all those of you who've pointed out to me that my surname means 'testicles' in your language."

Related item here.

(Thanks to Unhboly Slacker)

TIME FOR MANDATORY FEDERAL REGISTRATION

Police: 2 men beaten with toilet plunger in Flint

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

IT'S GETTING SO WE HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS AT ALL

Man Charged with Vandalism for Defecating in Sink, Trying to Flush Pants

This happened at the police station.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

DOO YOUR PART

Help Scientists by Sending Them a Stool Sample

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

WE LIVE IN WONDROUS TIMES

Mustache transplants.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody and jon harris)

YOU KNOW YOU (BURPPP) NEED IT

The Beeracuda.

(Thanks to jon harris)

RIGHT NOW

Dave's on the radio.

IT WAS ASKING FOR IT

Mercer Island cop shoots self in butt

(Thanks to B'game)

THE HERALD HUNT

It's tomorrow. Lots more info at Andy the Tropic Hunt Guy's site. Come out, go insane.

ITS FIRST THOUGHT WAS, "EH?"

Canadian scientists create a functioning, virtual brain

(Thanks to The Perts)

GUYS IN ACTION

Spokane man kills spider with brass knuckles

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

YET ANOTHER ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PASSING OUT ON THE FLOOR

Study: Chemicals found in couches could make you sick

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)