Dave Barry's Blog

THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR

#2038: Dolphins off the back balcony

(No, this isn't funny. Post "delete" in the comments if you think it should be.)
(Deleted, I mean. Not funny.)
(Or both.)

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT TV COULD NOT GET ANY BETTER

In this shudder-inducing preview of "Killer Karaoke," a new show which premieres Friday, behold this valiant gal trying to belt out "Redneck Woman" while being dunked in a tank of snakes.

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

SCOTTISH WILDLIFE REPORT

An elderly couple were shocked to find a python wrapped around the toilet seat in their house.

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

YOU KNOW THE SQUIRRELS WERE BEHIND THIS

Cat urinating in electrical socket causes fire in Rossendale

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO BASIC CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT

Roger Alvin Henderson arrested after urinating on patrol car

Guess the state.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IT WAS TOTALLY CONSENSUAL

A Swedish woman has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a skeleton.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE RAMONES

"He's not a malicious monkey murderer."

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

THEY'RE BECOMING MORE URBANIZED THAN WE THOUGHT

Deer attacks two men, then takes man's cigarettes

(Thanks to Ralph)

CELEBRITY GLAMOUR UPDATE

Jennifer Lawrence: I got into a car accident because I thought I saw Honey Boo Boo

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

SPORTSPERSON OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Idaho man pleads guilty to shooting at helicopter

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)