Dave Barry's Blog

FIREARMS AREN'T FREE, YOU KNOW

Family Gives Six-Month-Old Girl A Snake To Play With Because They Are Too Poor To Buy Toys For Her

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

THEY HAVE THEIR REASONS

Why Thai women cut off their husbands' penises

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

IT'S ACTUALLY HEALTHIER THAN CANDY CORN

Three primary school age children in one English city reaped more than the usual harvest of sweets and chocolates on Halloween when they emptied their trick-or-treat goody bags and found several bags of cocaine.

(Thanks to The Perts)

DEPARTMENT OF THINGS THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO YOU

Unlimited paid vacation is latest employee perk

(Thanks to The Perts)

THEY'RE TOUGH TO STUFF

...historians agree that eel was likely present at the first Thanksgiving dinner...

(Thanks to jon harris)

REMINDER

Today is World Toilet Day.

(Thanks to OCWriter FredKey)

NOT DISTURBING AT ALL!

A 32-year-old man who performs good deeds across Scotland dressed as a giraffe said the idea for his venture came to him while he was in the bathroom.

(Thanks to Omniskeptic)

FLORIDA WILL PAY WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET HER DOWN HERE

Director of Massachusetts Highway Safety Department has had SEVEN car accidents and nine tickets

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson) 

GUYS IN ACTION

Australian drunk survives attempt to ride crocodile

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

EDUCATION UPDATE FROM GERMANY

“You are nicer than my neighbour and I expect in bed, I could do with you relatively much”.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

IF IT'S ON THE INTERNET, IT MUST BE TRUE

MEN: According to this website, if you want women to want to have sex with you, you need to wear nail polish.

(Thanks to Matt Filar and Chuck Cody)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

We love sex more than housework

(Thanks to The Perts)

SPOT THE FLAW IN THIS OTHERWISE BRILLIANT PLAN

Police arrested an Indian man for "violating public decency" and breaching modesty laws after he dressed in traditional Arab women's clothing and slipped into a women-only park in Sharjah, one of the United Arab Emirates.

Hint: "It was not clear if the man's moustache might have been a weak point in his disguise."

(Thanks to The Perts)

SCOTT WIENER UPDATE

Supervisor Scott Wiener's proposal would make it illegal for a person over the age of 5 to "expose his or her genitals, perineum or anal region on any public street, sidewalk, street median, parklet or plaza" or while using public transit.'

(Thanks to many people)

YOUR POINT?

Indian Textbook Claims Meat Eaters 'Steal, Fight And Turn To Violence And Sex Crimes'

(Thanks to The Perts and Omniskeptic)

SHE TOTALLY HAS OUR VOTE

Woman predicting alien lizard attack on Earth registers a political party

(Thanks to Ralph)