Dave Barry's Blog

CANADA: LAND OF STRICTNESS

Driving around with a deer head on your vehicle? Not without a permit, please

(Thanks to Ralph)

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER TRY TO ROB A CHINESE RESTAURANT WITHOUT AN INTERPRETER

However, the employees apparently had trouble understanding the robbers. Two of the masked men pounded on the register in an attempt to open it, accidentally firing a gun in the process.

Guess the state.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

WE'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER WHERE WE WERE WHEN WE HEARD THE NEWS

Weiner returns to Twitter

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

HOLD EVERYTHING, PEOPLE

 Miami is still counting votes.

SOCIAL NOTE FROM AUSTRALIA

A fun day at the races.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who urges Australia to stay classy.)

CELEBRITY UPDATE

Justin Bieber Gay Sex Doll 'Just-In Beaver' Leaves Teenage Hearthrob 'Incensed'

(Thanks to John Finn)

INCREDIBLY, ETC.

Burglar thought he was in Lord of the Rings

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

GUESS THE STATE

Drunken man tried to shoot horse that bucked him

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

'BUSTED'

A Pennsylvania man was arrested yesterday after flashing his breast implants at fellow Walmart shoppers.

(Thanks to Bill Jones, Jeff Meyerson and DaninTustin)

A GRATEFUL NATION REJOICES

Amid Sandy’s Devastation, ‘Jersey Shore’ House Looks OK

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)

THEY HAVE JUST THE ONE?

...the health advocacy group found that "33 percent of men in Britain aged between 35 and 60 years are unable to see their penis"

(Thanks to wiredog and Unholy Slacker)