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October 30, 2012

Dave and Judi,

I am an instructor for the University of South Florida's Computer Science and Engineering Department. On my quizzes, I give extra credit questions for my students that allow them to have fun and serve as a one-point protection against silly mistakes, so they feel less nervous. I think you two would appreciate the question I gave last week. I attached some of the more clever responses.

You have awakened to a world where squirrels have become the dominant species on Earth. They are the same size and strength as your normal squirrel, yet everyone you know seems to believe it is their moral obligation and duty to be at the beck and call of any and all squirrels. Humans and squirrels can communicate, but part of modern human equation is Squirrel Language. People dedicate their lives to serving squirrels (Squirrel Studies is considered a more desirable major than Engineering, unless your Engineering discipline is used to help the needs of suffering squirrels), and harming a squirrel is considered the highest crime a human can commit. As you've probably guessed, these squirrels are not benevolent rulers. They take full advantage of the servitude of humans, and their treatment of humans outrages you.

You are the only person who knows the ways of old. What do you do?

- Matt Morrison

Best Answer: "TODAY WE FIGHT!"

Comments

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Above all, watch your nuts!

If I had had more teachers like Mr. Morrison, I would be good at math.

People pay good money for this ?

I assemble a guerilla force consisting of me and every dog I can find.

Doesn't he make enough money on "Glee?"

Reminds me of the movie Red Dawn

@SW, Matt actually refused to watch Glee because of sharing a name with a main actor. He's been posting these things on his Facebook for months. There was one that was about if you had the ability to give anyone but yourself a superpower, what would it be and why?

Day One: Today we fight! Day Two: Give up and welcome our new squirrel overlords.

What I do is become a turncoat, win their confidence with my 80,000 pounds of walnuts, and subtly suggest that they take our their furry fury on the world's greatest enemy of squirrels everywhere. And this Blog knows who THAT is!

“Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”

"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit."

The Dillards obliquely warned us about the reign of the squirrels years ago in their song The Whole World 'Round.

We have a border collie. Problem solved.

We have a Hulk...


We have a Moosedawg AND a Crack Puppy. Squirrels, don't EVEN mess with our nuts.

Sounds like the game Sheldon and Amy Farrah Fowler made up on BBT, only with squirrels instead of beavers.

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