Dave Barry's Blog

IT'S THAT NEW MAP APP

About 9% of Apple iPhones have been dropped in the toilet.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

SPORTS UPDATE

Man Dunks His Head Into Urine Bucket At Cleveland Browns Tailgate Party, Wins $450 (VIDEO)

(Thanks to Ralph, which is what you will want to do if you watch the video)

KICK AND BITE WITH A SINGLE MOTION

Shoes with teeth.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

ON THE OTHER HAND, IT LOWERS YOUR IQ

Every hour of TV shortens your life by 22 minutes

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says, "For Jersey Shore viewers, 65 minutes")

WE'LL JUST HAVE A SALAD

Meat supplier used underpants as cleaning rags

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

BEAUTY CONTESTANT OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Beauty Contestant of the Week So Far.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

NO, BUT WE'VE SEEN SOME THAT COULD

Could a moon of Uranus harbour an underground ocean?

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

POSSIBLY EVEN MORE VITAL THAN THE DEVELOPMENT OF A ROBOTIC SQUIRREL

CSU study: Shelter dogs prefer Mozart over Iron Maiden

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

BRILLIANT

A tour guide teases a croc.

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

*JUST* WHAT WE NEED

A $325,000 grant for the development of "Robosquirrel" - a robotic rodent designed to test the interaction between rattlesnakes and squirrels.

(Thanks to Samuel Sprague)

THE WEATHER FORECAST:

Excitement.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

GUESS THE STATE

Cross-dressing fake nurse targeting elderly

(Thanks to Samuel Sprague)

WHEN YOU'RE TALKING CLASSY

...you're talking Octomom.

Advisory: Octomom.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

PLEASE CELEBRATE APPROPRIATELY

It's National WTF Month.

(Thanks to [long time no see] Annie Where-but-here)

YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT

The Squirrel Attack Mug

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve)