Dave Barry's Blog

THAT'S THEIR STORY, AND THEY'RE STICKING TO IT

There is an old saying among economists that the best way to assess the state of the economy is to look at people's underwear.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

CSI: LOWER MACUNGIE

Feces Delivered in Lower Macungie Mailbox, Police Say

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

TERRORISM UPDATE

Riverside County squirrel tests positive for exposure to Bubonic plague

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

Related Extremely Urgent Update: 1D star Niall Horan on crutches after SQUIRREL attack

Fortunately, Somebody Is Doing Something: "You actually have to chop and prepare all of your food right here on site so when squirrels come in they're whole squirrels."

MEANWHILE IN CANADA

Stamps face fun at buttocks bowl

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

‘Hobbit’ Coins Become Legal Tender In New Zealand

(Thanks to The Perts)

'HE'S SINGLE, LADIES'

Dan Knowlton Owns More Than 600 Cabbage Patch Kids, Calls Them His Children

(Thanks to queensbee)

CHUCK E. CHEESE: ALWAYS A PLEASANT DINING EXPERIENCE

A Chuck E. Cheese's employee is accused of stabbing a woman with a box cutter after an argument about a salad plate, police said.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Not My Usual Alias)

IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER?

Teenager charged with assault after 'grabbing and twisting police officer’s testicles during arrest'

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

CONFESSION TIME

'Nun' caught on camera stealing beer

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

FLORIDA: OUR WILDLIFE IS WILDER THAN YOUR WILDLIFE

Mystery monkey of Tampa Bay attacks elderly woman

(Thanks to Allen at Division, Dan Barr and Mag Last)

SOMEBODY IS *SO* GROUNDED

Boy, 14, sells mother's jewels for brothel visit

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

IT WAS ASKING FOR IT

Police say a New Mexico man fighting with a stop sign kept fighting officers even after he was shot with Taser darts and doused with pepper spray.

(Thanks to Ralph)

ART DOWN UNDER

ALMOST 500 artists have attempted to break the Guinness World Record for the world's biggest drawing class, with a twist - the models are all totally nude.

(Thanks to The Perts)