Dave Barry's Blog

CRIMESTOPPERS

"Both victims were able to provide a detailed description of the defendant's penis and both advised they were offended by his actions," the deputy wrote in his arrest report.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

PAGING MONTY PYTHON

Man Who Made Fake Dead Cat Insurance Claim to Be Sentenced; May Have Tried Same Stunt with Fake Dead Parrot

(Thanks to Ralph)

THERE'S A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION

Woman denies ownership of marijuana in genitals

(Thanks to Peter)

AND THEY'R DOING BETTER THAN YOU

Fox Squirrels Diversify Their Nut-Savings

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)