FLATHEAD COUNTY: THE MIDDLE EAST OF MONTANA

5:17 p.m. A man on Harmony Court called 911 to report that a long-haired boy and a blond girl were making out heavily in front of his house. He would like a deputy to confront them as he was sure they would be “shedding their clothes” soon. He would also like their parents to be notified of their indecencies.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Comments

[MikeyVA]

Never kiss over the garden gate,
Love may be blind, but the neighbors ain't.

[Jeff Meyerson]

He called after setting up his camcorder with wide angle lens.

Ever notice how many barking dogs there are in Flathead County? Sounds like Hell on Earth.

[PirateBoy]

River City from "The Music Man" has nothing on Flathead County! The horrors! The scandals! Why, I bet they even have *pool hall*!

[johnd]

Jeff, that could either be the solution or an oppurtunity to supplement his income; videotaping the event and threatening to put it on youtube.

[maryqos]

Is Flathead County a real place? Large pink haired shoplifters???

[Dmentd]

I'm shocked; shocked. I never did such things. Much.

[Dmentd]

At least, not any more than I could get away with.

[padraig]

Imagine if it turns out that instead of a long-haired male, it was another girl? This guy would spontaneously combust. Figuratively and possibly literally.

[LeDud]

How many Walmarts are in Flathead Co. ?

[padraig]

This just in: when the police arrived, the complainant also requested assistance in getting the large stick out of his @$$.

[nursecindy]

Note to guy on Harmony Court. Nobody likes a tattletale. Flathead County is definitely on my *places to see before I die* list.

[pogo]

Padraig - I had to check. There appears to be one Walmart in Flathead County, in Kalispel, the county seat. The county is on the Canadian border and most of the land is in Glacier National Park and National Forests. The population of the county is an amazing 90K people, but they are spread over 5000+ square miles, so that's about 15 people per square mile.

But unlike places where most of us hang out the next closest Walmart appears to be 100 miles away in Missoula.

[Betsy]

I think I remember seeing a Pink-Haired Shoplifter in the Audobon guide. I'll have to check.

[Ralph]

Betsy: "But a bird in the open never looks / Like its picture in the birdie books..."

[HogsAteMySister]

"The site is unavailable."

They must REALLY be going at it now!

[Haji PirateBoy]

Pogo, a town near where I live has two "Super Wal Marts" opening this month, with another three planned to open within the next two years. They are all located within 6 miles of each other. So the high desert of California is not only the meth capitol of the US, but the Wal-Mart Mecca as well.

(And Mecca is the name of a real town about 60 miles from here, near the Salton Sea)

[ubetcha]

I knew it was Wal-Mart, the conglomerate anti-Christ. Wait a sec while I look up "conglomerate"...

[padraig]

Haji, they'll have to sell a lot of Sudafed to keep those suckers running. Watch out for guys who look like Bryan Cranston.

[Spiny Norman]

Haji Pirate Boy,

As a resident of the area in question, I can't make sense of it, either. At least they're closing one of the existing Wal-Marts, but why 2 new supersized ones 6 miles apart?

One is in Victorville, and the other is in Hesperia, but I still have to wonder if anyone at Wal-Mart headquarters owns a map, because the 250,000 people who live here are spread out over a large area... or if our city gubmints offered enough incentives so that it made sense to them.