Dave Barry's Blog

OH YEAH? WELL I HAVE ASSEMBLED SEVERAL BICYCLES.

A dad sends his son's toy train into space.

(Thanks to Claire Martn)

DON'T WORRY; WE'RE PROFESSIONALS

In a case of how not to do your job, a flight attendant forgot she had a loaded gun in her handbag when she passed through security at Philadelphia International Airport, and a police officer then accidentally fired the weapon while trying to unload it.

(Thanks to Not my Usual Alias)

WHERE THE *HELL* IS THE SO-CALLED 'UNITED NATIONS?'

Global Bacon Shortage 'Unavoidable' Next Year, Says U.K.'s National Pig Association

(Thanks to queensbee)

CSI: NIAGARA

It’s part of a larger internal investigation into cheese smuggling, allegedly by some members of their own force.

(Thanks to The Perts)

PAGING SAMUEL JACKSON

Crocodile escapes on Qantas flight

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

THIS JUST IN

Some men too fat to see their own penis

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

TENNESSEE FOREPLAY

William L. Wofford, 51, said he and Peters were in the living room of his residence where he was having sex with Peters. He stated that during sex, Peters picked up a hammer and struck him on the head, the report stated.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who notes: "Newport is in Cocke County, TN.")

WINNER: 'PIE OF THE TIGER'

Teams battled it out to be crowned champions in the World Custard Pie Championships in Kent at the weekend.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

CREEPING FASCISM ALERT

No, you can't name him Anal

(Thanks to Bill Moore)

WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW IT EXPRESSED ITS GRATITUDE

Turkish divers "rescue" blow-up sex doll from sea

(Thanks to Ralph)