Dave Barry's Blog

WE'RE ON OUR WAY

Rat meat on the menu at the Vietnam border

(Thanks to jon harris)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE TROGGS

YEAST FARTS POWER PUMP FOR MEDICAL PATCHES

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

BE READY

B.O. should rebound this weekend

(Thanks to Bill Trent)

BECAUSE THE NEXT STEP IS THE TOTAL COLLAPSE OF CIVILIZATION

Girl’s Pink Playhouse Incites Georgia Homeowners Association to Embark on Legal Crusade

(Thanks to jon harris)

BOSTON CRIME REPORT

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Boston Crime Report.

(Thanks to Poker and Thom in Winchester)

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

Women were paid to throw their undies at Tom Jones, reveals new book  

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THESE KIDS TODAY ARE OUT OF SHAPE

Williamstown teen vomits 10 times after running from cops

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

YOUR WORLDWIDE URINATION-NEWS ROUNDUP

Several Arrested For Urinating On Photos Of Nik Aziz, Guan Eng

Woman Urinates on Actress for Allegedly Snatching Her Husband

I was there, Kit Siang did not urinate at flagpole - 60-year-old witness

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

GETTING READY FOR WEDNESDAY

A 12-step program for drawing a pirate.

This blog's effort:

HE WON'T GET FAR IN HIS WAISTCOAT

Police hunt Victorian toilet bomber

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

MONTREAL DINING GUIDE

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Montreal Dining Guide.

(Thanks to Ralph)

ROMANCE

Man almost dies when mailing himself to girlfriend

(Thanks to The Perts)

OUR MONEY IS ON SQUIRREL DROPPINGS

Mars rover finds strange spheres on ground

(Thanks to The Perts)

WE HAVE MADE THE SAME MISTAKE COUNTLESS TIMES

However, Mindy Dick, of the Ladner-based Orphaned Wildlife Rehabilitation Society (OWL), said incidents such as this are fairly common and it’s most likely the jogger was wearing a ponytail and the owls mistook her for a squirrel from their high vantage point.

(Thanks to J.R. Absher)