OLYMPIC UPDATE

They shoot arrows, don't they?

Comments

[poker]

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

[Jan in Grimsby]

Dong Dong won gold!!!!!!!

[queensbee]

well, the laws of cricket make the infield fly rule seem like shakespeare!

[nursecindy]

It's too bad MLB doesn't have rules for tea time.

[queensbee]

more like BEER time, NC.....

[DrPat]

Golf (which was also invented somewhere in these islands) has equally extensive laws about tea time.

(I assume this after the guy at the golf club explained how important it is not to miss it.)

[padraig]

Cricket doesn't sound so bad now that I know there are drinking times built in. I wish there was an American sport like that.

Oh YEAH! I just remembered BOWLING! Roll a ball twice, once if you're any good, then you drink! And GOLF! And SOFTBALL! And... any other sport, as long as you watch it on TV instead of playing it.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Congratulations to Mr. Dong...or is that Mr. Dong?

Anyway, he improved his bronze from Beijing to gold this time, as the way too excited Jan pointed out.

Jan, it's time for the prescribed tea interval, but then as a former Lincolnshireian (or whatever) I'm sure you know this.

[Jan in Grimsby]

Yorkshire Jeff. That's OK tho'. Been called worse. Go Dong.

[Elon]

It's Mr. Dong. The surname is written first. Also, Dong and Dong are not the same sound in Chinese.

[JD]

Well, not to be too technical, Elon, it's not actually the Dong that makes a sound. But you're right, everybody responds differently depending on qualities of said Dong. I would imagine the Chinese are rather reserved, but I don't like making generalities.

What was the article about again?

[Clankie]

Fffffft ! >>>------->O

[Ms. Flukey]

I once had a boss who competed in rifle shooting competions (I tried not to be late for work). He told me that in order to improve their accuracy, the professionals would learn to slow their heart beats and then shoot between each beat.

Amazing.

[Elon]

Every sport should make time for Earl Grey. If nobility’s only purpose (And likely it is) was to discover that you could put meat between two pieces of bread or that tea tastes great flavored with oil from inedible oranges, it would have been enough.

[Steve]

Who is responsible for the "Scratching your n__s interval" in baseball? And do they notify the camera crew in advance? Or is it on a strict schedule?

[Afkat]

Hysterically funny piece, Dave. You really should write a book. About 15 years ago I was on an official visit on behalf of the Canadian government to the UK, mostly London.

Although I wasn't really an important person, the Brits thought I was, so they assigned to me a couple of personnel, one from the then foreign office and one bodyguard.

The guy from the foreign office was a crazy fanatic about cricket. We had some time, and I asked him to explain the game to me, since it was a complete mystery to me.

He spent about an hour and a half explaining the game, and left me no more wiser than before. Go figure.

[HogsAteMySister]

There is no way mere words can express how boring cricket is.

But there is one redeeming feature.

The ball is very hard and you can THROW IT RIGHT AT the batter.

So there's that.

[Ralph]

To see, or not to see, that is the question:
Whether 'tis better to stay home watching on TV,
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of tourists....

[padraig]

The redemption for cricket comes in their contributing the finest moment in sports announcing history. What baseball calls a "pitcher" cricket calls a "bowler," and the batter is a "batsman." When the batsman comes up the announcer has to call out the names in a strictly ritual form, which in one match forced him to announce:

"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willy."

Unmatched in any sport to date.

Actual citation at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Johnston

[Ross_marks]

And they say soccer is gay.

[Captain Spoilsport]

When I see the Chinese Trampolinist's name, all I can think of is Law & Order.

[Jan in Grimsby]

This will clear-up all the confusion

[Dmentd]

Quite surprised to see that no one else has pointed out that Kinky Helicopter Billionaires W, of course, BAGNFARB.

[MikeyVA]

Lord’s Cricket Ground.

Two things:
1-I didn't know God had a special place for crickets.
2-Must be noisy there on a summer evening.

[MikeyVA]

Padraig,

RE:"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willy."

Not to mention a sticky wicket....

[MikeyVA]

Jan,

the part about...Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out...

Really?

[Jan in Grimsby]

Yeah. Really. Not forgetting the Silly Mid Wicket position. And don't even ask me about men shining their balls on their bottoms. Honestly, you have to grow up with the sound of leather hitting willow, and Sunday afternoons in the clubhouse making piles of cucumber sandwiches to go with the tea, to grasp the whole dang business.

[MikeyVA]

Jan,

If I NEVER hear leather hitting willow, I will be OK.

Cucumbers are for reducing eye swelling.

Speaking of cucumbers. I found something interesting when I was there and tried to open those big gates in front of her house.

First of all, the police, who are extremely polite, don't want you annoying the Queen, who they call "Her Majesty," with extreme politeness.

The polite police person said she wasn't there anyway. I asked him how he knew. He looked at me as though I had fallen and struck my head and pointed to the flag pole.

He politely told me that the Queen's standard was NOT flying, the Union Jack was flying. If she were there, he standard would be flying.

Another really polite thing that the police do over there. If one is arrested in the US one gets Mirandized. Over there they call it being "under caution."