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August 05, 2012

DUE TO OUR STRICT POLICY, WE CANNOT BLOG THIS...

But we do enjoy imagining how this fellow picks up women.

(Thanks to Rachel Claus)

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By now he has had plenty of time to polish his delivery.

I'll leave it to your imagination, but the GUY does have the magnetism of an unflushed toilet.

Last time he felt bad, he went to the doctor, complaining of a high fever. The doctor told him he was wrong, it was just a low flush.

This was "Burt Reynolds" name on Saturday Night Live's Jeopardy. "(Smack, smack)Gotonacowbayhat. It'sfunnycauseit'sbig. (smack, smack)

He must have worked for Bush at some point.

"Hi. My name is Turd. But my friends call me ...
... infrequently."

Turd Ferguson and his band of loyal Turdites WNBAGNFARB

Whatever you do, never refer to his girlfriend as his "main squeeze".

Good thing he's not on our Olympic swim team.

Some additional information about Turd (quote marks are his):

"Turd Ferguson" was a licensed securities "professional" for nearly twenty years. Disgruntled by the fraud known as "financial planning", he retired to a career as a serial entrepreneur in 2008. Though otherworldly in his ability to forecast price movements, The Turd is NOT a soothsayer, a psychic or a witch. After all these years, he simply has a decent understanding of the forces at play in the precious metal "markets".

You can reach The Turd by visiting the Contact page and selecting "Speak to The Turd" or you can simply send him an email at turd@tfmetalsreport.com. If you are polite and not belligerently arrogant, he will probably answer you in short order. If he does not answer you, do not be offended. He's a busy guy and there are only so many hours in a day.

The clutch is broken and the "paradigm shift" won't change gears.
Who here has heard that term sufficient for several lifetimes?

He's a birdbrain.

I'd hate to be saddled with a name like "Alasdair".

C'mon, the ladies all think we are turds anyway, they probably like this guy's honesty

One of Freud's pet theories just got a boost here traditional psychotherapists will be enthralled with the Turd

But steer him away from the punch bowl just in case

I know this is totally immature, but I haven't laughed so hard at someone's name in a long time. :D
Apparently, "The Turd" thinks his name is rather funny too!

Shirley his parents are wasting away in prison for committing such a horrible crime on an innocent babe.

My god, he's an economist! What makes you think he's ever had a date?

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