Dave Barry's Blog

SEND THIS ROAD CREW TO WASHINGTON

Pennsylvania road crew paints yellow line over dead raccoon

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

The United States is recalling millions of faulty flushing mechanisms that have caused toilets to explode, creating “laceration risks” for toilet users.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Hungry rats wreak havoc on Chimacum football equipment

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

THE TRICKY PART IS GETTING THEM TO EAT THE WALNUTS

Daily dose of walnuts boost sperm quality

(Thanks to John Bunyan and John Gilmore)

FLORIDA MOTORIST OF THE WEEK SO FAR

When the deputy pulled him over, Williams immediately shouted, "I'm wasted, ya got me!" and got out of his pickup truck, beer still in hand.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

EVERYONE INVOLVED PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA LICENSE

A Norwegian driver who tried to avoid crashing into a moose hit a bear instead, a wildlife official said.

(Thanks to Mr. Jeff Arch)

THE UPSIDE IS, THE HOMEOWNER FINALLY GOT SOME SLEEP

MIAMI - Miami-Dade police were looking for two men who stole 500 canaries from a Kendall home and then sold them to various pets stores.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

BROWARD COUNTY POLICE REPORT

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Broward County Police Report.

(Thanks to Terry Spurgin)

THERE IS CLASSY

...and then there is Florida Classy.

ADVISORY: Bad language, semi-nudity, general stupidity.

(Thanks to Moe)

USING WHISKERS AS A CLEVER DISGUISE

Giant catfish burgles couple's home

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

CANADA: BEACON OF FREEDOM

City of Toronto changes mind, will allow topless rallies in city parks

(Thanks to Allen at Division)