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July 27, 2012

FLATHEAD COUNTY TERROR UPDATE

10:46 p.m. Kids in West Glacier were reportedly “hootin’ and a hollerin.’”

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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They didn't say if the caller was channeling Gabby Hayes.

Where's Batman when you need him?

Later on, kids in West Glacier called in to report an elderly man standing on his porch, shouting "Get off my lawn!" at them.

Those kids are doomed. Hootin' alone is a misdemeanor, and a-hollerin' usually carries only a fine unless it's a second offense. Hootin' AND a-hollerin', though, is a class 2 felony punishable by up to six months in solitary.

Today it's "harmless" hootin' and hollerin'. Tomorrow they'll move on to slappin' and ticklin', then comes the rollin' and tumblin', and pretty soon half of West Glacier is pregnant and sunburned.

"2:07 a.m. A scream was heard on Bando Lane."

No more hootin' and hollerin'.

The fire department showed up and successfully removed the boy from the swing.
Lucky for him that happened in July. There's an outside chance it'll be forgotten before school starts.

Hottin' is OK, but hollerin? That is wrong, just wrong.

That's what kids do... along with shuckin' and jivin'.

http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2012/07/attention-blogladies-of-new-york.html 404's, BTW

And now it's back...

2:07 a.m. A scream was heard on Bando Lane.
This sounds like the opening sentence to a Stephen King novel.
I'd also like to know how a kid got stuck in a swing and why the mom wouldn't give up some butter to get him out.

A scream was heard on Bando Lane.

My thoughts exactly NC. This will be the opening line in my yet unfinished(unstarted and lets face it, never to be written) mystery novel.

So who wound up getting the silver and bronze medals in the 400-Meter Gaffe event?

Child stuck in swing already had enough butter.

I guess I get the silver. That comment was meant for next thread........

And the bronze! I meant TWO threads up.

*plays Pepperland national anthem*

Somewhere a dog barked.

I liked the woman with five goats in her yard . . .

You got me hootin' and a-hollerin'
Reelin' and a-squealin'
BabarAnn (Bob, bob, etc.)

Butter wouldn't melt, so we put on his thighs.

I believe the first-round Hootin'-&-a-Hollerin' matches will be on NBC tomorrow afternoon, although with a 4-hour tape delay. Latvia squares off against gold medal favorite, Montana, while Chile faces Lichtenstein.

Omni, my spouse swears that song's chorus is actually,

"Bob Moran, Bob-Bob, Bob-Bob Moran"

I guess someone knew a Bob Moran in third grade... It's such an earworm, I can't hear "Barbra Ann" in it anymore!

..It was a dark and stormy night...

Was it a dark and stormy night?

DrPat - are you familiar with the archive of misheard lyrics? www.kissthisguy.com. People post their misapprehensions about song lyrics, along with (apparently) parodies, too, I notice.

Anyway, here's their page for Barbara Ann. Not as funny as your wife's, frankly.

It was a dark and stormy night. A scream was heard on Bando Lane while a dog barked. A lone child sat on a swing while his friends threw rocks at cars. A woman picked up the phone and began dialing. We should all write a book together. We could call it Terror In Flathead County.

Does the Miami Herald publish a police blotter?

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