Dave Barry's Blog

YOU HAD US AT 'SWEATY, GAG-INDUCING SPECTACLE'

NEW YORK, N.Y. - Joey Chestnut ate his way to a sixth straight win at the Fourth of July hot dog eating contest at Coney Island on Wednesday, tying his personal best in a sweaty, gag-inducing spectacle.

(Thanks to The Perts)

WITHOUT RULES, WE WOULD HAVE ANARCHY

Lifeguard fired after rescuing drowning man outside Florida beach zone

(Thanks to Yvonne Fortin)

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

SAN DIEGO -- Firefighters were called out to a North Park bar early Sunday to free a 22-year-old woman who got her hand stuck inside a pool table.

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

THEY ARE NOTORIOUS BRAGGARTS

Can Stick Insects really mate for 1400 hours?

(Thanks to membracid)

IN FLORIDA, THIS IS A VALID LEGAL DEFENSE

'Hit-and-run' driver tells police she didn't stop because she was 'worried her ice cream would melt

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

HAILEY, IDAHO, INDEPENDENCE DAY PARADE

The Hailey parade featured an impressive array of marching and riding units, including world-famous celebrities such as Smokey Bear.

Also on hand was the State Farm Bear. We didn't even know State farm had a bear, but here he (or possibly she) is:

 

 This might be a squirrel:

This is a cat:

Here are some annoyingly fit people celebrating their annoying fitness:

Here's a cowgirl proudly displaying the official flag of Budwesier beer:

Here's a large motorized dog:

And of course the Church of the Big Wood was represented, with a float that included a large inflated whale. (Rest assured that our group, being composed of classy and tasteful individuals, did not make any jokes speculating on what kind of whale this was.)

It goes without saying that Uncle Sam was there, in an excellent mood on his birthday.

 

THE ONGOING HORROR THAT IS FLATHEAD COUNTY

8:32 a.m. A Hungry Horse man with an air-soft gun asked another resident to call 911 and inform law enforcement that “gypsies and devil worshipers” had taken over his house.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

SEND THESE PILOTS TO WASHINGTON

TWO pilots from the Brazilian Air Force could be in trouble for flying too close to the Brazilian Supreme court and shattering all the windows. The pilots were flying Mirage 2000s - a French-made plane that can fly at twice the speed of sound - and the shockwaves from the planes shattered all the windows at the Supreme Court.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

INCREDIBLY, ALCOHOL APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN INVOLVED

Firefighters called to early-morning toilet rescue

(Thanks to Ross Marks)

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

Boom.