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June 03, 2012

IF HOLLYWOOD DOESN'T MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT FLATHEAD COUNTY, THEN HOLLYWOOD IS AN IDIOT

9:33 a.m. An employee at a Kalispell gas station discovered a butcher knife lodged inside the tank of a toilet.

(Thanks to Flathead County Correspondent Jeff Meyerson)

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Oh joy.

Is the Godfather being remade in Flathead?

A man on Dorothy Street in Columbia Falls reported that an intoxicated man busted through his door, threatened to beat him up, threw up on the floor then yelled at him.

10:24 p.m. A heavily intoxicated Martin City man called 911 to report that an “intruder” was in his yard and that there was a fire in the alley behind his house. Additionally, he claimed that he saw his neighbor fall down and assumed that he had shot himself. There were no shots fired and the caller agreed to stay away from his neighbor, as requested.

The madness never ends.

Hard water... You have to cut a slice before you flush.

If we only knew some authors that could write a screenplay about Flathead County....

a beer in one hand and a pistol in the other.
That's one way to cope with the spammers.

It seems that all the dogs in Flathead end up at gas stations. Should make the dog catchers job easy.

"A Movie"??? Just one? Why, they go do a whole trilogy series on the gum wrapper outrage alone. I see an entire film franchise here...

"10:11 a.m. A tan dog on Mountain View Drive was seen rooting through some trash."

Oh, the humanity! What can possibly be next -- a dog lifting its leg on a fire hydrant?

Probably not -- I doubt they have hydrants.

I see a pattern of chucking and upchucking.

NC ~ An author who doesn't necessarily need a plot...

10:24 p.m. A heavily intoxicated Martin City man called 911 to report that an “intruder” was in his yard and that there was a fire in the alley behind his house. Additionally, he claimed that he saw his neighbor fall down and assumed that he had shot himself. There were no shots fired and the caller agreed to stay away from his neighbor, as requested.

The UFOs would even stay away from this guy!

Wasn't this a plot on either Roseanne or Reno 911?


Dang, Horace, you beat me to it!

Are you altogether sure the whole place isn't a figment of Carl Hiassen's imagination?

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