Dave Barry's Blog

YOU MAY NOW ADMINISTER ARTIFICIAL RESPIRATION TO THE BRIDE

A bride, groom and their entire wedding party fell into Gun Lake after the dock on which they were having photos taken gave way.

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

IT'S ALSO A BIG FAN OF 'THE VIEW'

A team of scientists at Google created a "brain" that taught itself to recognize cats by watching millions of YouTube videos.

(Thanks to The Perts)

POSSIBLY EVEN MORE EXCITING THAN GOLF

Russian Egg Roulette.

(Thanks to Marta "Mike'sDaughter" Zlotnick)

GOLF:

It's simple, once somebody explains it.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

WE CERTAINLY DO NOT SEE THIS AS HUMOROUS

Elite secret agents sent to protect France’s new president Francois Hollande at a major overseas meeting forgot to pack their guns, it has emerged.

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie & W)

INSURANCE PROFESSIONAL OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Insurance Professional of the Week So Far.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

MICHIGAN SOCIAL NOTE

Man assaulted with frying pan after woman lights fireworks inside Flint apartment

(Thanks to Jimmy Madigan)

POINTING THE WAY TO ECONOMIC RECOVERY

Rise of the ‘Breastaurants’: Hooters-like eateries featuring busty women in skimpy tops enjoying booming business

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

NICEVILLE: THE FLATHEAD COUNTY OF FLORIDA

Man calls police to say there's a chicken in his front yard

(Thanks to Ralph)

ALWAYS KEEP ONE HANDY

Officer Bytnar said police were told that a man and a woman had overstayed their welcome at the house, so the owner chased them out with the pooper scooper.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

PAGING CAPTAIN QUINT

Just in time for summer, Great White Sharks have been spotted in the water around Cape Cod.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

BECAUSE THEY DON'T PEE ENOUGH AS IT IS

Beer for dogs.

(Thanks to funny man)

FLATHEAD COUNTY TOURISM REPORT

2:35 p.m. The owner of an RV park in Hungry Horse reported that tourists from Florida complained about the remoteness and lack of cable in the park. Additionally, he claimed that the women threw herself onto the floor and yelled. He claimed to have never seen anything like it.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

DON'T TOUCH THAT LEVER

Exploding Toilets Lead To Recall

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

CSI: CHANDLER

A Chandler man is accused of defecating on the floor of a Walmart store Tuesday after trying to steal a beer bottle, Chandler police said.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

MEANWHILE IN NATURE

Prettier tits (the bird!) get more help from their partners

(Thanks to The Perts)

LET'S BE CAREFUL OUT THERE

A 72-year-old New Jersey man has been charged with threatening to shoot his neighbor for farting in front of his home.

(Thanks to Mag Last)

THAT WILL TEACH THEM

A woman who was struck with a milkshake and angrily threw her purse at a vehicle full of teenagers lost $2,000 after the handbag flew into the open vehicle window, Palo Alto police said Monday.

(Thanks to JD)