Dave Barry's Blog

INCREDIBLY, THIS IS NOT ABOUT HEF

Fossils in flagrante delicto

(Thanks to Rick Harover)

YOU CAN'T SPELL 'TERROR' WITHOUT SEVERAL OF THE LETTERS IN 'FLATHEAD COUNTY'

5:06 p.m. A Bigfork resident claimed that although they sent someone a “certified letter” asking them to stop texting, the texting continues.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THEY WERE RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Man claims leprechauns beat him up for dancing

(Thanks to Chuck Cody, Matt Filar and Ralph)

ATTENTION, NOBEL PRIZE JUDGES

Red cars more likely to be hit by bird poo than any other, says survey

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IS THAT A ZUCCHINI, OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO BE GETTING FREE GROCERIES?

A supermarket on the German-Danish border was stormed by a horde of naked shoppers on Saturday after offering free groceries to the first hundred punters willing to get their kit off.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan, who says "ask them to stay at a respectful distance when loading up at the salad bar." Also thanks to Ralph.)

SEND ADELE TO WASHINGTON ALSO

Adele wakes girl from coma

(Thanks to The Perts)

DOES ANYBODY ACTUALLY SHOP IN WALMART ANY MORE?

Man Accused Of Making Meth In Walmart

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

FORWARD IT TO WASHINGTON

OTTAWA — An embarrassed Jason Kenney finally apologized today for calling Alberta’s deputy premier Tom Lukaszuk a “complete asshole” after accidentally hitting ‘reply all’ on an email.

(Thanks to The Perts)

YOUR TAX DOLLARS HARD AT WORK

A new report by federal auditors says a Kansas-based company may have paid out as much as $4.2 million in potentially fraudulent Medicare claims for penis pumps.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

GUESS THE STATE

Barbara Hall Had Cooking Spray Sex, Threw Bottle At Boyfriend

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

TIME FOR A FEDERAL BAN

Toilet injuries more common than shark bites

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR PHISH

Decapitating, Rat-Eating Clocks of the Black Forest

(Thanks to Hunter Oatman-Stanford)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

For entertainment, a girls' school brings in a "hypnotist-in-training."

(Thanks to hon harris)

CSI: SNELLVILLE

Phone tracking device helps solve chicken wing robbery

(Thanks to Allen at Division and Matt Filar)

REMAINDERS UPDATE

Never has a band this mediocre received so much publicity.

Reminder: If you want to see our semi-historic penultimate performance, you can get tickets here.