Dave Barry's Blog

SEPARATED TORTOISE COUPLE UPDATE

Wildlife experts trying to reunite a pair of giant tortoises who split up after a 115 year romance have shelled out 4,500 GBP - on a life-sized replica 'other woman.''

Key quote: "I don't think any of us fancy trying to fight off 100 kilos of sex starved male tortoise trying to mount us," they added.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

IT'S TIME TO PLAY "GUESS THE STATE"

The city began welding shut the public restrooms at Clear Lake Park this week.

(Thanks to of course Jeff Meyerson)

KEEPING OUR STREETS SAFE

Police: Taser Used On Nude 80-Year-Old Woman Attempting Hit Officers With Cane

(Thanks to Loudmouth)

SORRY ABOUT THAT

Tourist has illegally parked car BLOWN UP...and then (naturally) he's given a ticket

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

OR THEY COULD TRY STICKING THEIR FINGERS IN THEIR EARS AND GOING "LA LA LA LA LA"

North Carolina tries to outlaw climate models

(Thanks to Lord Greg)