Dave Barry's Blog

STUFF

YAY for Christian Borle and the other Tony Award winners of Peter and the Starcatcher.

ADVISORY

For the next week, this blog will be aboard a cruise ship, drinking and eating in mass quantities exploring the uncharted, souvenir-infested waters of the Caribbean. There is internet access on the ship (we're sailing on The Ginormous Floating Thing of the Seas) but it costs roughly one year of college tuition per minute, so we will be using it sparingly. Therefore blogging from us will be sporadic. Judi says she will try to pick up some of the slack, but she is always saying things.

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Mr Yummy battles Mr Whippy in Blackburn Ice Cream War

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR MYSTERY UNDERWEAR

'Sexually deviant' penguins too much for Antarctic explorer

(Thanks to The Perts and Joe in Japan)

GUESS THE STATE

The Redneck Resort Mud Park is under construction.

(Thanks to funny man)

WE SAW MYSTERY UNDERWEAR OPEN FOR LIL WAYNE

Brazilians burn mystery underwear

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

SPEAKING OF TOILETS

Enter the Clorox Toilet Confessions Contest by submitting your toilet story in one of four categories for your chance to win $10,000 or other prizes.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

INDIAN GOVERNMENT REPORT

Jairam Ramesh spends 18 hrs/day on 'toilets'

This has been the Indian Government Report.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

BE ON THE LOOKOUT

Athens-Clarke police are trying to track down thieves who stole nearly 400,000 toothpicks from a local toothpick manufacturer.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody and Matt Filar)

NOT WEIRD AT ALL!

The 32-year-old, who lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico, loves his daily fix of My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, and he’s not alone. He’s part of a growing group of “bronies” (“bro ponies”) — men who are fans of a TV show largely intended for a much younger audience.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

AT LEAST WE HAVE SOME CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT

A man who was intoxicated and masturbating to pornography when he drove a stolen car through the crime scene tape surrounding the homicide of a teen-age boy last year will not have to register as a sex offender.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Man Claims His Genitals Were Burned By Urinal In Arby’s

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown, Robert Mathis, Bill Hudgins, John Gregg and R & L Stevenson)

GUESS THE STATE

Man 'moons' officer, tries to swim away

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

THE REMAINDERS

We're getting the whole band together one last time. Actually, it's two last times, but one of them is open to the public; that's June 22 in Los Angeles. Ticket information is here. You will never again have a chance to see a band with so many people playing so few chords.