Dave Barry's Blog

WHAT THE HELL *IS* THAT THING?

Semi-hilarity ensues when a student prankster brings an actual typewriter to class.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

AND PEOPLE SAY AMERICANS LACK INITIATIVE

Woman cooked meth at Walmart while being held for shoplifting, authorities say

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

FLATHEAD COUNTY: THE HORROR HAS JUST BEGUN

11:26 p.m. Someone on Mission Way may have been the victim of a ding dong ditch.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

ATTENTION, NOBEL PRIZE JUDGES

Heart-shaped watermelons:

(Thanks to John Grant)

YOU GO AHEAD. WE'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER BEER.

To study vampire spiders, build Frankenstein mosquitoes

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

Related: Can jumping spiders kill in space?

(Thanks to The Perts)

HAS ANYBODY SEEN CHARLIE SHEEN RECENTLY?

Lt. Michael Forde said the incident unfolded when police received a report from the store at 6:05 p.m. that there was a naked man running through the aisles yelling incoherently.

(Thanks to Monique)

Perhaps he knows this lady.

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

Sex Pistols action figures.

(Thanks to janice Gelb)

TIME FOR STRICT FEDERAL CONTROLS

She said when she turned her back to get Nuccio coffee, he struck her in the head with a full bottle of soy sauce.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

For important background on this issue, click here.

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Fish farm owner brings out cannon in battle over dried-up ponds

Guess the state.

(Thanks to Ksurfiws)

TELEVISION: WHERE FUN GOES TO DIE

The Spike television network is airing a competition this fall to award a fortified bunker to a family that believes the end of the world is near.

(Thanks to Rich Klinzman)

OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS VERY ROMANTIC

A marriage proposal in southern Indiana concluded with a shock late Wednesday, when the hot air balloon carrying the future bride and groom hit a power line and knocked the pilot unconscious, a sheriff's office spokesman said.

(Thanks to jon harris and Bob Brogan)

SOME DAY IT WILL MAKE A FINE HELICOPTER

Karl Lagerfeld's cat has two maids

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

(For those who missed the helicopter reference: Here.)

PUT THE FREAKING VEIL BACK ON

Scientists unveil 20 new species ... including a giant blue scorpion and massive hairy spider

(Thanks to Phil Boyum)