WE NEED TO BAN THAT STUFF

Robber holds up Manchester newsagent with a cup of black coffee

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Comments

[markhh]

Good thing it wasn't expresso. That'll get you life.

[Horace LaBadie]

The Gentleman Bandit always uses Earl Grey.

[O the Umanity]

Yeah, Horace ... I'd've thunk a resident of GB would've used tea ... much more dignified and in keeping with their overall ethos ...

[max]

Obviously a tribute to the British band Squeeze and their hit single Black Coffee Robbery. That would explain why they didn't use tea.

There's a stain on the counter
Where the coffee cup was
And there's ash on the floor
Where his friend got lost.

I was calling to police
That my robbers tonight
Are a stain on the counter
That rings their goodbye.

Now they're gone
And the cop's on the beat
A stain on the counter
Is evidence you see.
Now they're gone
He left with a friend
With arms full of smokes
And coffee, no cream.

With the way that they robbed me
I can hardly contain
The hurt and the anger
And the joy of the pain.

Now knowing I'm robbed
There'll be fire in my eyes
And a stain on the counter
With a camera in sight.

Now they're gone
And the cop's on the beat
A stain on the counter
Is evidence you see.
Now they're gone
He left with a friend
With arms full of smokes
And coffee, no cream.

Now they're gone
He left with a friend
With arms full of smokes
And coffee, no cream.

Not quite a robbery without passion
As he left he blew an air kiss
it's not the cash but the cigarettes
That I'll really miss.

The stain on the counter
Remains all that's left
Of the memory of late nights
And the coffee robbery
Of the memory of late nights
And the coffee robbery.

Now they're gone
And the cop's on the beat
A stain on the counter
Is evidence you see.
Now they're gone
He left with a friend
With arms full of smokes
And coffee, no cream.

Now they're gone
And the cop's on the beat
A stain on the counter
Is evidence you see.
Now they're gone
And the cop's on the beat
A stain on the counter
Is evidence you see.

Oh the coffee robbery,
Oh the coffee robbery.

Black coffee Robbery (x3) fade out.

[Omniskeptic]

It's stories like this that explain the collapse of the British Empire.

If only we'd thought of it, we could have routed 'em out of Ireland centuries ago, just by sauntering up to Number 10 Downing Street with a pint in one hand and a hoodie on and, well, just asking.

"Awright, chum, this's a revolution, innit? Hand over the sovereignty, if you don't mind. Oh, 'tanks very much. Best to the missus, now."

[padraig]

Omni, they almost got Oliver Cromwell to fall for that. Too bad he caught on.

[Omniskeptic]

Yeah, we nearly had him, he was ready to sign, and then those busy-body little apprentice boys had to suggest he read the fine print.

[nursecindy]

For some reason this incident reminded me of this one.
*Nudge, nudge, wink, wink*

[O the Umanity]

Well, if Cromwell would've suckered fer that, then Yeats would've never written "Easter, 1916" ... which, considerin' all the lives saved, prolly would've been a perty good deal ... merely ... speculatin' ...

The Blarney wuz flyin' perty fast, but it din't quite do the trick that time around ... but I like yer idea, Omni' ... nah ... prolly wouldn't have werked on the Iron Lady, either ...

[O the Umanity]

... and don't get me started on Churchill ...

[Loudmouth]

That stuff can be dangerously hot. Says it on the Macs cup.

[Wolfsong]

Hey, I've had coffee that could be weaponized....come to think of it, I've made coffee that could be weaponized....

[padraig]

Churchill at least was as nasty to his own people as he was to the Irish. Cromwell looked at Ireland the same way Colonel Sanders looked at a chicken coop.

[LeDud]

NC, That was a great MP skit. I hadn't seen it before. I think they could have at least used a toilet seat to rob the store. That kids face in it would be pretty effective.

[O the Umanity]

pad' ... oh, I think there wuz a bit less love of Churchill frum the Irish, compared to the Brits ... they elected him (well, sorta, the way their system werks is a bit different, but "elected" will suffice fer the nonce), the Irish certainly din't get a vote in the matter ...

David Lloyd George wuz no angel either ...

OTOH, de Valera wuz so Machiavellian he should've had an Italian passport ...

All told, I'm cautiously pleased with the cessation of blatant hostilities between the folks in The North and the militant sects in The South ... it seems (finally) as tho the people can get along, if the danged politicians will get the heck outta the way of neighbors bein' good neighbors ... so far, so good ...

[Spiny Norman]

nc,

I was thinking of this one. ; ^ )

[nursecindy]

Spiny Norman, I love that sketch too. In fact I love all things Python.

[Omniskeptic]

He used ... sarcasm!

Could be the motto for the blog.

[Omniskeptic]

And by the way, consider this thought experiment. What if Churchill hadn't been able to run a three-card monty game on Truman about Indochina? Or if Roosevelt, who had Churchill well figured out, lived another three or four years, would the Vietnam war have even happened?

How in the heck did we end up talking about Churchill, anyway? I have this vague notion it's my fault. Sorry.