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May 25, 2012

DO BEARS POOP IN THE WOODS?

Not all of 'em.

(Thanks to The Perts, Janice Gelb, and Jon Harris)

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Reporters know what questions to ask:

When asked if the attack scared the "you-know-what" out of him, Shurvell replied, "It was already gone!"

I guess the bear really had to go.

The best policy when using public facilities is to get, do your business and get out as fast as possible to avoid this sort of thing.

Oh and they don;t mention the important question, did the bear wash his hands afterwards?

Christopher Robin had been waiting forever to get in there and Pooh was just trying to help.

I had a nearly identical situation involving a "rabid" dog.
The gentleman was sitting on the throne of glory, pants down around his ankles, and the door open to the beautiful spring air.
His own dog, fur up and snarling, came stalking across the yard at him.
He told me he didn't have time to pull up his pants, so he staggered to his house and grabbed his shotgun. He shot the dog just as it got to him and tried to bite.
The dog wasn't rabid, so I suspect the previous night's dinner.
And the door opened out, so he couldn't just close it.

He was already finished, and it smelled like a picnic basket?

Humans 1. Bears 0.

Lotta wives can be like that if you don't close the door or put down the seat.

Bear Bears Bare-assed Bubba to the Bush.

All he had in his hand for defence [sic] wuz some TP ...

Reminds me of the story about Mrs. Murphy's a$$ ... but y'all've heard it. so y'all know of whut I speak ...

My grandparents, who lived in BFE Georgia didn't get indoor plumbing until I was about 12 years old. I never worried about bears when using the facilities. I was more worried about the chickens that tried to come in and visit while doing my business. Also my mean boy cousin, David, told me to watch out or the cows would bite me on the bottom.

An outhouse with toilet paper!? Who ever heard of such!?

C'est Moi, Curtis' ... grewed up with such as our only facility, but we allus had the modern convenience of actual TP ...

That's called "progress" ... y'see?

Curtis, where have you been? The on-line catalogs everyone has these days don't work for outhouse use like the old hard-copy paper catalogs.

Is the Pope Italian? Not all of them.

Bears poop in the woods, confronted reporters in their pants.

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