Dave Barry's Blog

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Britney Spears takes up golf, scares off golfers

(Thanks to Ralph)

ALSO, BEARS POOP IN WOODS

Listening to loud music linked with pot use, unsafe sex, study says

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias and Jay Brandes)

THERE IS NO REASON TO GO ON LIVING

Dog the Bounty Hunter has been canceled.

(Thanks to jon harris)

RAISE YOUR RIGHT... OK, YOUR RIGHT FRONT LEG

Kansas City man wants to bring alligators to court

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

WE USE A CHAINSAW

MIT Scientists Figure Out How to Get Ketchup Out of the Bottle

(Thanks to Gary Kennedy)

SOUTH FLORIDA DINING

One of this blog's favorite restaurants is George's of South Miami, because (a) it's close to our house; (b) the food is good; and (c) George is insane. Last night, for no reason that anybody could explain -- especially not  George -- he brought in a giraffe, a camel, a zebra and two tigers (one adult, one baby) and set them up across the street. Then George dressed up like an extra in a 1932 Tarzan movie and greeted his customers.

And, yes, the giraffe was delicious.

FLATHEAD COUNTY: SOME KIND OF BIZARRE EXPERIMENT GONE HORRIBLY WRONG

4:27 p.m. Reportedly, eight teenage boys were on the side of Foys Lake Road. One of them had his pants around his ankles.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Now they're using  emu poo.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

CSI: CANADA

A Canadian woman called the emergency services after mistaking her neighbour's noisy toilet efforts for a violent disturbance.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Ralph)

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Vanderbilt baseball finds good luck charm in Rally Beaver

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

IT WILL FIT RIGHT IN

Beer on the road: Rig overturns, shattering 55,000 pounds of bottled brew on Florida highway

(Thanks to Mrs. Blog)

YIKES

Handcrafted birthing dolls.

(Thanks to Jack Hinrichs)

A FRYING PAN WAS ALSO INVOLVED

Ferndale man punches fiancee after she kisses another woman, setting off backyard brawl

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

INCREDIBLY, ETC.

Woman Arrested After Taking Ambulance For Joyride

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

NEW YORK *WILL* FIND A WAY TO TAX THIS

Two New Jersey guys are commuting to Manhattan in kayaks.

(Thanks to Sharon [The Minx] Lurie)

THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO GO ON YOUR LEGS

Your skinny jeans could be a health danger if you are not wearing them properly

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)