Dave Barry's Blog

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

A new pilot program in Georgia is giving kindergartners a say in whether or not their teachers will get pay raises or get fired.

(Thanks to The Perts)

THIS JUST IN

The prime minister's last name, it turns out, sounds like an Arabic slang word for penis.

(Thanks to The Perts, Matt Blackstone and padraig)

FLORIDA WILDLIFE ENCOUNTER

I went to my local pack-and-ship place this afternoon and encountered this:

And, yes, the thing on its forehead is a valid Florida driver's license.

WHO SAYS TODAY'S YOUTH LACK INITIATIVE?

Not this blog.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

FLATHEAD COUNTY: WHERE FEAR NEVER TAKES THE DAY OFF

3:38 p.m. Two dogs on Helena Flats Road attempted to abduct a goose and a duck.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and funny man)

RELATIONSHIP OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Man dived in chute to escape girlfriend

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says, "Resistance is futile.")

DRAWN ON A CAVE WALL BY HUGH HEFNER

Researchers in France have discovered what could be 37,000 year old porn.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

WHEN YOU THINK LITERACY...

...you think Miami.

(Thanks to Rick Day, and Phil Boyum, who says, "But apparently they can't read the driver's manual.")

WE BLAME GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE

How rocks collected from a southern Orange County beach caught fire in the pocket of a San Clemente woman's cargo shorts, landing her in a hospital with third-degree burns, remained a mystery Thursday.

(Thanks to coscolo, Ralph, Bob Brogan and queensbee)

NOW WITH ADDED PROTEIN!

Teen bites into Arby's sandwich, finds severed finger

(Thanks to RussellMc and Bill Hudgins, who says, "It was the #5 Combo - wait, make that #4.")

CSI: FRUITLAND

Man with underwear on his head breaks in to coffee shop

(Thanks to Craig Roberts, Woozy Barnes and Matt Filar)