Dave Barry's Blog

'SUSPECTED?'

Lexus found submerged in family’s swimming pool; drunk-driving suspected

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

THESE PEOPLE MUST BE HAVING SEX WRONG

Posting views on Facebook and other social media sites delivers a powerful reward to the brain similar to the pleasure from food and sex, a Harvard study concludes.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WHICH MEANS HE ALSO GETS AN F

An 18-year-old Utah man was arrested on suspicion of burglary after police say he left his homework at the crime scene.

(Thanks to jon harris)

SCIENCE

But during one of her experiments, Patty noticed that an inflating drake’s penis could burst through a silicone model of an oviduct.

(Thanks to David Duncan)

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER....

...for the Evaporating Blobs.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

IT MUST HAVE ESCAPED FROM THE CAR WASH

Man bitten by rattlesnake at Clarkston Wal-Mart

(Thanks to Craigh Roberts)

ART

Smelling excrement may not be everyone's idea of fun...

(Thanks to funny man)

ETIQUETTE

Pee sitting down and make eye contact while clinking glasses and you can't go far wrong.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Swedes fear gas during sex

(Thanks to The Perts)

MAKES AS MUCH SENSE AS THE STOCK MARKET

'Queen's knickers' up for grabs on eBay

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

AND PEOPLE SAY THERE ARE NO GOOD JOBS OUT THERE

As a part of the study on obesity, the school is offering participants the opportunity to eat all the fast food they want every day for three months. They’ll even get paid $3,500 for it. The only catch? They have to gain five percent of their body weight during the duration of the study.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

HOTEL SECURITY CONSULTANT OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Hotel Security Consultant of the Week so Far.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

ENGLISH SOCCER FANS

They're not like you.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

HEADING FOR GUAM?

Take an umbrella.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE DO NOT PAY OUR CAR-WASH WORKERS ENOUGH

“One of the employees had moved the seat back to remove the trash on the floor and felt something that didn’t feel right,” Daniel Smelser said.

(Thanks to nursecindy)