Dave Barry's Blog

ELSEWHERE ABROAD

Members of a Russian Orthodox organization used holy water to disperse dozens of protesters supporting jailed punk band Pussy Riot in downtown Moscow.

(Thanks to Ralph)

TOTALLY NOT WHAT YOU THINK

Horny Jesus hits cop with massive butt

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE LIVE IN EXCITING TIMES

Sega's videogame business hit a 'new flow' this week when the firm pushed its urinal games terminal, the Toylet, out into retail in Japan.

(Thanks to Steve @ Secret Location, who says "I guess the name "Wee" was already taken.")

YOU WILL NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS GUESS THE STATE

Drunken grandparents towed child in toy car

(Thanks to Elizabeth Ozbourne, Jeff Meyerson, dialtone, Karin Dixon, Marc, B'game, Rich Klinzman, Terry G and James Tokarz)

 

NEW JERSEY EDUCATION REPORT

And it all stemmed from an incident earlier in the morning when Smith’s son, a seventh grader, passed gas while he and other students were taking the New Jersey Assessment of Skills and Knowledge (NJ ASK) standardized statewide test.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

WHICH IS A TWO-STROKE PENALTY

75-Year-Old Man Bitten, Dragged by Alligator at a Golf Course Pond

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

OR SO HE CLAIMS

Man exposes himself at Association for the Blind

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

FLATHEAD COUNTY: LAND OF MYSTERY

8:07 a.m. “Half printed” money was discovered by someone who was rummaging around at the Creston landfill.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

HORN-TOOTING

Peter and the Starcatcher was nominated for nine Tony awards.

AND PEOPLE CLAIM THERE ARE NO BENEFITS FROM HEAVY ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION

Curiously, the man was unaware he had a taser dart in his brain and only went to hospital after he got home and noticed the dart sticking out of his head.

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

WE NEED A CIGARETTE

Female Panda's Insemination Live-Tweeted by National Zoo

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

YOUR 'DANCING WITH THE STARS' REPORT

"I have to set the record straight. I don't fart."

This has been Your Dancing With the Stars Report.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

FATHER'S DAY UPDATE

Forget the US Navy stealth ship. Dad now wants this.

(Thanks to Orly Seidman)