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April 06, 2012


ALTOONA, Pa. -- A state trooper says an extremely drunk woman met him at the door wearing underpants and holding two yellow roses she wanted him to accept as part of her "cop fantasy" -- before he charged her with drunken driving instead.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

A Coral Springs woman is facing battery charges after authorities say she punched her boyfriend in the face after he wouldn't sleep with her.

(Thanks to funny man)

Update: Naked woman with history of breast, buttocks offenses nabbed in Vero Beach

(Also thanks to Unholy Slacker)


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Just what part of "Yes" don't you understand?

"Barnhart's attorney says she maintains her innocence."

Please pardon my snickering.

Yellow roses are a sure sign she was just looking for a way out of a ticket, everyone knows red roses are part of the cop fantasy.

What a great time to be a door-to-door salesman.

"I inquired why she was in a parked vehicle without any clothes at this time of day," a report states. "She could offer no explanation."

The deputy reasoned Roseman's "level of intoxication had deprived her of her normal control of her mental faculties," a report states.

Judging by the previous stories, it sounds like this is her normal mental state.

And let me see if I have this right. The boyfriend wanted her to sober up so he took her naked to a house where he was working? WTFBBQ, dude? That ploy never works for me.

As to woman #2, the guy deserved it. Not only did he refuse to sleep with her but he called her ugly? He's lucky she didn't call in the Scrotum Squeezer.

Re woman #1: When on the job I encountered this more times than I care to remember "shudder". In Canada, given that our ceremonial uniforms were red serge, we referred to it as "scarlet fever".

And in the day admittedly I may have been a bit of a hunk...but to have sex with these people.....never gonna happen...that's why God invented the perfect, consensual and equally-motivated partners for RCMP members...nurses and airline stewardesses.

And Lord knows, we married a whole lot of them...

Obviously the Renaissance " Venus on the half shell " ideal of womanhood is taking a beating in some parts of the country.

"Battery charges"?

Oh, it's just Spring, folks.

"You know I like it rough."-the Ghost of Christmas Present.

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