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April 23, 2012

SOMEBODY IS NOT GETTING LUCKY ANY TIME SOON

Hunter thinks he hears a pig, shoots his girlfriend

(Thanks to Ellie Brecher, jon harris and bill Hudgins)

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...thus opening up the market for Floridian bacon -- similar to Canadian bacon, but made from actual Floridians.

Gun shot wounds to both legs? Wut, did just keep shootin' after he heard her screaming?

Was the woman wearing red? I mean, before she was shot.

This happened in what state?

BBQ!

This reminds me of the sad story of a guy's body they found in his own backyard...shot 10 times. The police checked with his octagenarian neighbor who didn't know anything about the shooting, but did shoot about 10 times at a woodchuck on the part of his property....facing his neighbors yard.

Honey, does this camo vest make me look fat?

Ladies, he's single, again! Or soon! Course ya might have to wait five years or so, depending on the courts.

So his excuse "I'm sorry, honey, I thought you were a hog" didn't work? Go figure.

Hunter thinks he hears a pig
Doo-dah, doo-dah
Shoots his girlfriend in the leg
Oh, doo-dah day

Gonna ruin my night -
Gonna ruin my day....
Bet my money she's a gonna nag:
Somebody ain't gettin' laid

Betsy, the actual conversation went probably like this:

Steven: "Honey, I'm soooo sorry! I thought you were a pig!"
Lisa: "Honey, I'm even sorrier that you ARE a pig!"

And here I thot Minnesnowta wuz the only state where they took "sound shots" durin' huntin' season ... mebbe these wuz Snowbirds who moved to Fla?

"Aw, Honey, I've axed you a dozen times not to snort so loud on a hog hunt."

Did he ask her to dance first?

If you can't talk your way out of that one, you shouldn't be an ex-President.

She would have been much better off if he hadn't gutted her after shooting her!

He asked her if she was game and she said yes.

He was overheard on gurney singing, " I like fatback and I cannot lie..."

Has anybody checked with Ted Nugent for an alibi?

And did you see that Ted was convicted of shooting too many bears in one year in Alaska? Not kidding. As far as I can determine (if you accept quantum theory, anyway) there's no law to prevent bears from eating Ted more often than once a year. Kind of like Prometheus and the eagle.

I mistook my wife for a hat once. Got some funny looks out on the street.

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