'HE HAS A TONG THING'

Drunk man tries to rob deli with hot dog tongs

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Comments

[Ford79]

He mustard up quite a bit of courage to pull that heist.

[Theresa]

Funny. It is a good thing that he really didn't have a weapon at all. It's too bad that he wanted to rob the place though. Like the Hunger Games I personally like the bow and arrows as a defense.

[Dan S.]

"Give me all your money, or I'll grab your wiener!"

[Just Some Guy]

Good thing police were able to ketchup with him.

[Allen at Division]

From "Horsefeathers" with the Marx Brothers:
Groucho: (Hangs up phone. Baravelli and Pinky arrive carrying blocks of ice. They deposit them in the wall safe.) "That's a fine way to carry ice! Where are your tongs?" (Baravelli and Pinky stick their tongues out.) "Looks like a tong war."

[padraig]

"Give me all the money or I'll give you such a PINCH!"

[padraig]

Ooops, sorry, didn't see this was a pun thread.

Well, this guy's buns are toast.

[O the Umanity]

His major mistake wuz usin' the hotdog tongs ... if he'd've tried this with the pastry tongs, the whole enterprise would've been a lot sweeter ...

[Omniskeptic]

Tong Thing is an obscure Taiwanese film director, credited with a handful of chop-socky pictures such as "Buns of Fury" and "The Seven Samurai for the Price of Six." He's also remotely connected with one of the songs from Wizard of Oz: his mother-in-law passed away, and his wife ran to him with the news, yelling, "Tong Thing, the witch is dead!"

[funny man]

Actually, tongs can be very dangerous.

Especially if you get in the middle of tong war.

Many hot dogs have been dropped lost due to the
violence hatched by tong wars.

[queensbee]

oh, just, tongs a lot.

[Betsy]

But seriously, folks -- you're missing the touching human interest angle here. He only did this so he could go to jail to show his family how much they'll miss him, because "...they don't appreciate him."

I'm sure they came to their senses the minute they got his One Phone Call.

[O the Umanity]

Yah, Bets' ... bet they really appreciated that call ...

[Ralph]

"...they don't appreciate him." The tong has ended, but the malady lingers on.

[nursecindy]

With apologies to The Blog, Bernie Taupin, and Mr. Elton John.

There are times when we all feel a little mental pain.
Folks taking you for granted.
No happy memories seem to remain.
In times like these you think of something stupid you can do.
No matter what your family may say,
you have to have faith in you.

So pinch on an on! On and on!
Pickup those hotdog tongs.
When your sanity is gone.
Pinch them all with those hotdog tongs.

[padraig]

Betsy's right, this is a poignant story that will echo through the ages. A man steals frankfurters to feed his starving family, then suffers years of unconscionable punishment from doggedly determined (sorry) policemen. We should make a musical from it, call it "Les Wienerables."

Unless that's already been done...?

[O the Umanity]

pad' ... yah, it's been done ... title wuz "Blue Howyawanit done?" ... starred Elvis Presley ...

[Omniskeptic]

Elvis? I thought it was that congressman, oh, you know, Anthony Whats-his-name?