Dave Barry's Blog

THOSE THINGS ARE WORTH A FORTUNE ON THE STREET

The suspects took the bags, which contained newly upholstered bar stool cushions, and took off running.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

REVENGE

Tourists trapped in Confederate monument's elevator

(Thanks to Sharon ["The Minx'] Lurie, who says, "All the people trapped were Yankees.  Coincidence?  I think not!")

FATHER'S DAY IS COMING

Don't get him another bottle of cologne.

(Thanks to Catherine)

MUST HAVE BEEN AN EXCITING RIDE

Man sues BMW for 20-month erection after bike ride

(Thanks to Mark Buckley)

'SOME QUESTION TASTEFULNESS OF INVENTION'

ButtleOpener creator defends product, says it is harmless

(Thanks to Robin Goodfellow and Sharon ["The Minx'] Lurie)

MEANWHILE IN PETANQUE

Fox steals 38 boules balls

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

A FLORIDA COMMERCIAL LICENSE IS ON THE WAY

Trucker 'didn't notice wheel fall off'

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE SAW KFGP OPEN FOR NRBQ

Dogs attacked - by kung fu guinea pig

(Thanks to The Perts)

DO *NOT* MESS WITH WOMEN

A dentist pulled out all her ex-boyfriend’s teeth after he dumped her for another woman – who has now left him because he is toothless.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody, Janice Gelb and DavCat)

IT HAS RETAINED LEGAL COUNSEL

Kittery police battling aggressive tom turkey

(Thanks to Anne ["Not related to Mitt"] Romney)

INSTINCT

Emu escapes from Hamilton farm and heads to N.J. Turnpike

(Thanks to Barbara A, who says "Undoubtedly heading south, towards Florida.")

PAGING THE OREGON HIGHWAY DEPARTMENT

No takers for dead cow on Kingston beach

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)