Dave Barry's Blog

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR UNDERCOVER JERKY STING

Space Zucchini

(Thanks to Gregg in Austin)

GUESS THE STATE

Man attacked wife with Cheez-It snacks over Earth Day concert

(Thanks to funny man)

WAIT... EVEN THE MALES?

Kangaroos have three vaginas

(Thanks to RussellMc)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Newt Gingrich was bitten by a penguin at the Saint Louis Zoo on Friday during a private tour, zoo officials said.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan and Horace LaBadie)

THIS WILL ONLY ENCOURAGE THEM

Frequent flying businessman John Brennan set off an explosives wand at Portland International Airport Tuesday and stripped naked to show TSA screeners he was not carrying a bomb.

(Thanks to bibl0cat)

FLATULENCE-POWERED RADIOACTIVE BIRDS, HOWEVER, ARE A NIGHTMARE

Radioactive Birds Sing More; Flatulence-Powered Cars Work Fine

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

'COULD BE?'

Nelson, the baby parrot, who could be the ugliest bird in the world

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

UPDATE ON THE ONGOING WORLDWIDE EPIDEMIC OF TOILET-PLUNGER-RELATED VIOLENCE THAT MUST BE STOPPED OR SOON WE WILL RUN OUT OF CAPITAL LETTERS

Man fires employee, assaults him with toilet plunger

(Thanks to Unhole Slacker)

BECAUSE YOU NEED TO KNOW

Simon Cowell insist on black toilet paper

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

ATTENTION, NOBEL PRIZE JUDGES

Researchers succeed in growing hair on bald mice

(Thanks to John Grant)

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT QUITE GEEKY ENOUGH

Smell like a MacBook Pro with this new perfume

(Thanks to Dan)

'HE HAS A TONG THING'

Drunk man tries to rob deli with hot dog tongs

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

WE SAW UNDERCOVER JERKY STING OPEN FOR HERMAN'S HERMITS

Ex-TN deputy busted in undercover jerky sting

(Thanks to Sharon [The Minx] Lurie)

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

Mohammad Ashan, a mid-level Taliban commander in Paktika province, strolled toward a police checkpoint in the district of Sar Howza with a wanted poster bearing his own face. He demanded the finder’s fee referenced on the poster: $100.

(Thanks to John Gregg)

NOT WEIRD AT ALL!

Here's a French hotel where you get to be a hamster.

(Thanks to ScottMGS)

THERE ARE NONE IN NEW JERSEY?

Jeffrey Lloyd of Fairfield Township confesses to crossing state lines to steal panties, police say

(Thanks to Barbara A)

SCIENCE

Bird poo tower could prove research goldmine

(Thanks to The Perts)

SO THEY'RE CHANGING THE NAME TO PRINCE ALBERT

F***ing had enough of prank calls

(Thanks to Ralph)

NEXT STOP: ANARCHY

California lawmakers won't be briefed any longer on kangaroo harvests in Australia under a plan to scrap more than 700 reports required by state law that Governor Jerry Brown unveiled on Tuesday.

(Thanks to Ralph)