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March 12, 2012

WITHOUT HANDS!

Sperm Discovered Doing Basic Calculus

(Thanks to Gregg in Austin)

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math is hard

Here's our new science lesson for the day.Sperm like a dog wag their tails.

So the little fishies can do differentials. But can they do integral calculus? What about linear algebra? Inquiring minds wan to know.

Throw up a 't' at the end of 'wan'. Or just throws up.

Watch out for the ones that can do analytic geometry.

They also take cello lessons and do volunteer work with the elderly. All to ensure they can someday get in to the most prestigious schools.

So that's what those little slide rules are for.

That foto enhanced by a stroboscopic light is really impressive ... that one in the bottom left corner looks like John Travolta ...

So.. apparently sperm are smarter than I am, because I can't do calculus at all!

DANG! I could have used them in college in my calculus (otherwise known as death by a thousand cuts) class.

And that is exactly how Isaac Newton started.

But can they say, "squirrel?"

I don't see any articles about ova doing any math ! (will now retreat to area where women can't swat me....)

A fly got into our house last night and had the misfortune of irritating me.
I got after him with my trusty electrified tennis racquet but the first exposure was fleeting, or short-timed. It obviously had an effect but was not fatal.
A second, longer exposure had the desired effect and a couple of really cool sparks.
I can only conclude that the fly was reacting to a time derivative of exposure since the current was the same in both instances. The only difference was the time of exposure to a consistent level of current.
Flies can do calculus.
Of course, it kills them. Just like it does us.

or just maybe calculus and other math indignities were derived from natural processes that most other animals, except us, know about?

Cheese,

I had to take 4 years of calculus in college. It Ain't a natural process.

Calculi ... the etymological basis derives frum "bone" or "rock" or ... eventually ... "hard" ...

That's why Calculus is hard ... it's a language dealie, not a math dealie ...

My brain calcified when I tried to do calculus in high school; I kept going off on a tangent.

O,

I tried telling that to my multi variable calc prof. He laughed until he had to be resuscitated.

Ralph,

At least you weren't engaging in Sine.

Actually, my excuse wuz often of the nature sumwhut like this:

Prof: "The answer should be intuitively obvious. See?"

Me: "Can't"

Not naming names, but someone's getting a little hyperbolic here.

O,

"That is intuitively obvious to the casual observer."

He thought this was funny. I wanted to bring a weapon to class after the 5th time he said that and laughed until he snorted.

Hyperbole is the Soul of Wit ... or the Anathema ... I fergit which ...

MikeyVA ... I think that "intuitively obvious" line is endemic in Math instructors ... most of all I've ever encountered -- whether as a co-worker/teach, or in the adversarialness of the classroom, seem to think it's a great joke on the students ...

O,
I wanted to beat him with my textbook.

I had math teachers who used "intuitively obvious" too. It never was.

Calculus actually isn't that bad if you have a good teacher. At the college I was at, there was a place you could go where other students who had taken the class would explain how to do the problems, and what they said actually made sense. It usually took a student about 5 minutes to explain it. The teacher would have stood up in class about an hour explaining the principle but never actually how to do the problems.

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