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March 07, 2012

LEGAL DEFENSE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Commuter accused of sex act on train walks free from court after telling court he was strumming an 'imaginary banjo'

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

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Maybe preparing for an audition to join the Rock...

Nevermind.

i occasionally play an imaginary bassoon.

For me, it's the trombone.

Was someone in the kitchen with Dinah when he got home?

Sounds more like he was fiddlin'.

Give him a break, Cindy. He's been working on the railroad, all the livelong day.

So ... he got off on those charges, eh?


(Seriously ... the story says: " ... the woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons ... " ... so, the accused in Britain does NOT have the right to know his accuser? Mebbe that's part of whut went worng back in the 1770s? ... all the objections to her accusation that occurred to me, were answered by the court system proceedings (according to the article) ... and, sumwhut surprisingly, a reasonably decent job of writing, this time around ... )

It's a long train ride from Alabama to Basingstoke.

loco-motion

The rest of the band probably got off at the last stop.

It got really disturbing when a friend joined in for "Dueling Banjos."

i'm thinkin, kinda deliverance here...

sounds like he was plucking his cockatoo

"...with a banjo on his knee..."
Now, that's just bragging.

Didn't Imaginary Banjos open for Lynyrd Skynyrd?

So in essence his defense was "Don't you cry over me. I've come from Basingstoke with a banjo on me knee?"

Bet he was pickin' and grinnin', but not like this....

(Possibly some crimes associated with these jokes)

Oneblank, I think it was Alabama.

Key quote:
‘He was doing what he shouldn’t have been doing, without a shadow of a doubt. I felt absolutely violated. I was an emotional wreck at the time. I was furious. The longer I stood there the more angry I got.’

Seeing a person playing air banjo can do that to some people.

I had a professor in college who was playing air violin -- Brandenburg Concerto #3, first movement. He kept on going back and replaying the same part with a confused look on his face. In the middle of the final exam.

I looked up and said "F Natural."
"What?" he responded.
"Your F Natural gets resolved on the first beat of the next measure by the viola," I responded.
"Oh, you're right" and he continued with the next phrases.

I had more fun ignoring the stares of my classmates than a normal human being would experience. But then again, I am a recovering viola player.

NMUA ... that's very amusing ... and sumthin' prolly only a musician (or a wannabe) might appreciate ...
tnx ...

"No your lordship, it wasn't choking the chicken -- it was Turkey in the Straw.

He committed a sex act on a train? Is it that same guy that was taped humping his Chevy a year or so ago? Guess he's raised his sights.

NMUA was that also your grade?

Strummin' the banjo...is that what they're calling it these days?

ferj--
I walked in and out with a 440 A.

(No one else will understand why that is a joke, but I thought I would try)

(I got a glimmer of an idea, NMUA ... but it's languishin' on the sidelines, waitin' fer approval of a 404 permit ... )

Hey, in Alabama when we strum our ol' banjos, Dinah blows our horn, IYKWIM...

The first 10 seconds it's adjusting your underwear. The next 10 minutes is playin' with yourself.

Yes, Strumming the Old Banjo is in fact a euphemism, right up there with Hiking the Appalachian Trail.

Omni' ... would that be considered as "doin' it with a backpack" ... ?

fee fi fiddly eye-o

NMUA - "A" note = 440 hz. Sumbuddy got it. What with being a musical geezer and all.

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