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March 28, 2012

FLATHEAD: A COUNTY GRIPPED BY FEAR

9:04 a.m. Someone who suspected that llamas on Yeoman Hall Road were underfed, found that they were actually being fed.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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Feeding the Llamas WBAGNFARB or a sexual euphemism.

If the chages were true, would the owner have to take it on the llama?

7:40 p.m. A man with an overt middle finger and a backwards hat reportedly teased dogs in an alley and bluffed passing vehicles.

I must be behind the times. I don't know what an "overt middle finger" is (as opposed to a covert one?), and I don't know what it means to "bluff" a passing vehicle.

Assuming it's not some sort of mobile poker game and that it instead means overt-middle-finger guy is jumping in front of traffic in an attempt to startle the drivers, I would think that to be a self-correcting problem.

Oh, and the solution to the five-year-old thief would obviously be either a good tasing or the death penalty.

Jeff, you are not far off. Software maker Winamp
uses a trademark I think about spanking the llama's ass...

Overt Middle Finger WBAGNFARB.

Still the wild West.

Yo Llama, Man.

As to the backwards hat! When I see grown men wearing the cap backward, I want to go up to them and say, "Really? Do you know how dopey you look? It is not the 90s and you are NOT 16!"

Mikey, It's worse when the damn thing is worn sideways. Dork-o-rama.

Now get off my lawn!

You can never trust those llamas.

Dear Dan S:

Hold your hand in front of you palm down with your fingers extended but held together. Bring your pinkie and thumb down into your palm while keeping the other three fingers together and extended. Now read between the lines, that is a covert middle finger (there are other forms of covert middle fingers, that was just the first one that came to mind).

5:56 p.m. A Coram man reported that a dog came into his yard and bit his 19-year-old grandson. Apparently this is an ongoing problem.

The dog or the 19-year old?

In either case..

Yelling "get outta my yard!" should do it....


The farmer was quit mystified to hear soft, gentle music coming from his barn. After carefully, and ever so quietly, he was amazed to find his animals actually *dancing* to the music!

"Is that Barry Manilow?" the farmer asked, with an increasing sense of both curiosity and wonder.

"No", said Tony (The llama). "Can't you tell who?"

The farmer had the courage to ask his question again, since it isn't everyday you get to meet a talking llama, much less discuss music with one!

Finally, satisfied with their answer, the farmer returned to his bed.

"So, what were the animals actually listening to?", asked his wife, waking from her slumber.

"Como, say llamas."

^quite^, not "quit" (Darn autocorrect!)

Teasing dogs in an alley -- sounds like old diner-speak. Adam and Eve on a raft, and sink 'em. Two teased dogs in an alley. One smelly muskrat, roll 'em over.

Were they one-L lamas, two-L llamas, or a three-L lllamas? I'll have to check the fire log.

Pooh!

(To quote O. Nash ...)

What was her name, PB?
And starvation is partly a matter of viewpoint. Dogs, for example, are absolutely convinced they haven't eaten since puppyhood.

Steve, her name was Dali. Every morning, the farmer would rush to the pen and shout "Well, hello, Dali!"

(And, for the record, I actually did know a man who retired and purchased two llamas [llami?]. He named them Tony and Dali.)

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