Dave Barry's Blog

THE PORK CHOPS WERE RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Chicago Man Spotted With Pork Chops In His Pants Arrested For Shoplifting

(Thanks to Rich Alpin)

STILL ANOTHER REASON TO SKIP THE LOUVRE

Angry Birds Theme Parks Coming to Europe

(Thanks to funny man)

THIS IS WHY WE NEVER PLAY POOL WITHOUT A FACE MASK

British Man Has Pool Cue Tip Removed From Brain after Accidentally Skewering Himself

(Thanks to Dan Barr)

ARE YOU KOSHER TONIGHT?

Elvis Presley Enterprises sponsoring 9-day May tour to Israel with 3 backup singers

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT

Man makes guitar out of Millennium Falcon

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

FLATHEAD: A COUNTY GRIPPED BY FEAR

9:04 a.m. Someone who suspected that llamas on Yeoman Hall Road were underfed, found that they were actually being fed.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IT MUST HAVE WATCHED 'LASSIE'

Trapped basset hound calls police

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT'S TIME ONCE AGAIN TO PLAY 'GUESS THE STATE'

Drunk woman calls 911 to say she was lost in woods, did not know where to urinate

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE SUSPECT THING 1, ALTHOUGH WE WOULD NOT RULE OUT THING 2

Lorax statue stolen from La Jolla estate of Dr. Seuss

(Thanks to Sharon [The Minx] Lurie)

WHEN GUNS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY JUDGES WILL HAVE GUNS

Barrett told the woman she was "killing her case" and pulled out his gun and, feigning to offer it to her, said, "You might as well shoot your lawyer," Langley said.

(Thanks to funny man)