Dave Barry's Blog

DEPARTMENT OF THINGS YOU'D RATHER NOT KNOW

Alicia Silverstone chews her son's food for him

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR HENDRIX

Robot Records Fish Farts

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

BEAUTY TREATMENT OF THE DAY SO FAR

The Snail Facial.

(Thanks to The Perts)

ATTENTION, NOBEL PRIZE JUDGES

Genetically modified cows could fart less

(Thanks to funny man)

We need to apply this technology to humans, especially if they sit next to me on airplanes.

MOLECULAR MICROBIOLOGIST OF THE WEEK

We regret to announce that our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Molecular Microbiologist of the Week.

(Thanks to Lisa)

DETAILS, DETAILS

Glad Tidings Assembly of God stages mock kidnapping of youth group — but failed to warn parents

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

Presenting the Squirrel-Tracking Water Cannon.

(Thanks to Ric Williams)

WE NEED TO BE PREPARED

What If All of America's Toilets Were Flushed Simultaneously?

(Thanks to Bruce Webster)

THEREBY QUALIFYING FOR A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Brainless slime able to trace map of Canada’s highway system

(Thanks to Nigel Grout)

THUS EXPLAINING WHY HE CHOSE A CAREER IN POLITICS

Town councillor Simon Parkes: My mum was a 9ft green alien

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Bruce Webster)

ATTENTION, OBESE DOGS:

Help is here.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE'RE SURE IT WAS MEANT IN A POSITIVE WAY

FREMONT — Police are investigating after a smelly dead muskrat was left on a teacher's chair in a classroom at Ellis School.

(Thanks to Samuel Sprague)

GRAFFITI OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Har.

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

WAIT... YOU CAN GET IT DELIVERED?

Medical Marijuana Deliveryman Robbed By Baton-Wielding Ninjas In West Covina

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown and Loudmouth)