Dave Barry's Blog

CSI: MANITOWOC

Police capture chicken at large

(Thanks to Car Ramrod) 

CHUCK WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID IMAGINARY FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

When officers arrived at the scene, they asked Boyles—then outside of the vehicle—if she had been driving. She replied that she hadn't, but that it was her "imaginary friend Chuck,” who she said had departed the scene before officers arrived.

(Thanks to Leeandra Wesley)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

Menacing-looking artificial vaginas now sold at Walgreens

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

IS THAT YOU VIBRATING, OR ME?

Nokia patents tattoos and stickers that vibrate when you get a call

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Andrew Halpryn)

IF YOU THINK WE EXAGGERATE ABOUT THE BADNESS OF FLORIDA DRIVERS

...you're wrong.

THAT SETTLES IT: WE NEED TO DRAIN THE LAKES

Texting woman falls into lake

(Thanks to Renaldo)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Snow globes ignite fire in Milwaukie home

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

(Yes, "Milwaukie.")

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT APPARENTLY WAS INVOLVED

Man arrested after dialing 911 to report woman with lipstick

Incredibly, this did not happen in Flathead County.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

TIME FOR STRICT FEDERAL CONTROLS

Husband allegedly knocks out wife with pineapple during argument

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

HIS LUGGAGE, HOWEVER, WAS LOST

Man Successfully Flies With Custom-Built Bird Wings

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

WORDS YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE TOGETHER: 'DODGY' AND 'CIRCUMCISION.' ALSO, 'KLAMP.'

KZN Rolls Out Dodgy Circumcision Klamp Despite Questions

(Thanks to Barbara A.)

WHICH MEANS THEY CAN LEGALLY DRIVE IN FLORIDA

Peabody Hotel Ducks Start Blog

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

WE SAW THE GLOWING MILKY WHITE CLOUDS OPEN FOR SPRINGSTEEN

NASA test to produce glowing, milky white clouds off the N.J. coast in coming weeks

(Thanks to Barabara A.)