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March 15, 2012

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS LEFT

A man who tried to strangle a pet goat in a rage because he couldn't find his house keys has been sentenced to community detention.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL UPDATE

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you the Major League Baseball Update.

(Thanks to Peg Alpin)

THEY ALSO INCREASINGLY TURN TO THE INTERNET

Galit Shohat-Ophir, the team’s lead researcher, and her colleagues discovered that the more a male fruit fly’s sexual advances are rejected, the more likely the fly will turn to alcohol as a consolation.

(Thanks to jon harris and Albert York)

ATTENTION, NOBEL PRIZE JUDGES

Face of sci-fi alien ET spotted in tree trunk by Wiltshire pensioner

Article-1331651278814-1224CC29000005DC-110305_636x402

(Thanks to Anil Haji)

THE IMPORTANT QUESTION IS: DID HE WASH HIS HANDS?

Police Chief Michael Martinsen placed his handgun on a urinal while he used the facilities and left it behind.

(Thanks to jon harris)

NEXT: GIANT ALBINO SEWER ALLIGATORS

New frog species discovered in New York City

(Thanks to The Perts)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Mysterious hog farm explosions stump scientists

(Thanks to RussellMc)

We saw Mysterious Hog Farm Explosions open for the Archies.

IF THIS WERE TRUE, FLORIDA WOULD HAVE THE BEST DRIVERS ON EARTH

Study: Thinking too much hinders driving

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

3:26 p.m. A bicycler on Highway 2 East flagged down an officer and asked if he could shoot at cars that swerve at him. The officer said no, he shouldn’t do that.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT THE 'DOWNWARD DOG' POSITION LOOKS LIKE

Guys in New York are doing naked yoga.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

A DAY THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY

Fox pulls plug on '24' movie; Kiefer Sutherland furious

(Thanks to Rick Day)

IN MIAMI, HE WOULD BE A DRIVING INSTRUCTOR

59-Year-Old Guy Busted For Driving, Drinking Beer, Having Sex At Same Time

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS

BERLIN—An earless baby bunny that was a rising star on Germany’s celebrity animal scene had his 15 minutes of fame brought to an abrupt end when he was accidentally stepped on by a television cameraman.

(Thanks to ligirl and Ralph)

 
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