Dave Barry's Blog

HILAR... NO, WE MEAN VERY BAD

BIRD watchers' hopes they had discovered a new species of hawk have been shot down after a New Zealand farmer was revealed to be spray painting the birds pinkish-red and releasing them for fun.

(Thanks to Greg Snow)

GOOD burrppppp BOY

How to Train Your Dog to Get You a Beer

(Thanks to Ralph)

THERE IS NO HIGHER PRAISE

Michael Fassbender vomited on by star-struck fan

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

CLASSIFIED AD OF THE WEEK SO FAR

He rejected the assertion that his actions were discriminatory towards little people. “F*** if I care,” he said. “They know they are midgets. I’m not being politically correct about this.”  He took a similar stance on violence. “Violence would be if I asked the midget to kick her hard and then set her on fire.”

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

OUR MONEY IS ON THE DOG POOP

Duisburg lawyers fight dog poop with flags

(Thanks to The Perts)

CSI: CAMBRIDGESHIRE FENS

“In all our years of investigating cases of fly tipping none of us have ever come across a 12 foot metal gorilla."

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER MOTHBALL

Photographer meets FOOT-WIDE moth in the Himalayas

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)