Dave Barry's Blog

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

A man told a court how his estranged partner stabbed him in the buttock with a kitchen knife when he refused to help her prepare the food for their granddaughter’s christening party.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

POLICE HAVE SOMETHING TO GO ON

Dispatchers in East Texas answer 911 calls while on the toilet

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THOSE THINGS CAN BE DEADLY

“It was not a mountain lion, but a very large house cat,” the officer wrote in the report.

(Thanks to Fred Hudson)

A LONG WAY FROM TUPPERWARE

A Philadelphia woman was arrested Wednesday at a so-called "pumping party," where police say she was planning to administer buttock-enhancing injections.

(Thanks to funny man)

FLATHEAD COUNTY CRIME WAVE

4:34 p.m. Someone reported seeing a man on Terry Road shadow boxing in the bushes.

(Thanks to funny man)

AIM IT AT WASHINGTON

How to Build a Speech-Jamming Gun

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

DUH

Meetings can lower IQ, make you brain-dead

(Thanks to The Perts)

CSI: LUFKIN

Daniel Huerta: Lufkin's Illegal Wee Hours Door-to-Door Poultry Peddler

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE RAMONES

Giant Dinosaur-Sucking Fleas

(Thanks to RussellMc and The Perts)

FINE BY US

Justin Bieber Should Launch Into Space, Scientist Says

(Thanks to Dan Barr)

NEW ORLEANS: WHERE PEOPLE ARE GOOD AT FALLING DOWN

Hundreds of people got knocked over onto mattresses in New Orleans in a bid to break the 'human dominoes' record.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

STAY CLASSY, FRUITA

FRUITA, Colo., Feb. 29 (UPI) -- Officials in a Colorado town said they won't be giving official approval to a marketing campaign using the initials "WTF."

(Thanks to The Perts)

GUESS THE STATE

Tacos-for-harmonicas swap gets man stabbed

(Thanks to The Perts)

FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHT UPHELD

Law used to cite bird-flipping man nixed

(Thanks to The Perts)

NO.

Cow Brain Paste on Testicles?

(Thanks to Gregg in Austin)