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February 27, 2012

SOON TO BE A MAJOR HEIST MOVIE STARRING GEORGE CLOONEY AND AT LEAST 14 OTHER STARS

Three men charged with stealing dozens of sewer grates

(Thanks to Dave the Librarian)

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Used "scrap" money to "allegedly buy herion" ...

Why do y'all s'pose they call it "DOPE" ... ?

Most states have enacted laws that require scrap sellers to prove or at least swear that the scap they well, they own. Is Illinois behind the times?


And five tons? Them's "career criminals" and "dumber than a metal grate".

Given that just about every sewer grate and manhole cover has the name of the town emblazened on it, the scrap dealers don't have to try too hard to figure out the source.

When it comes to crime, Illinois is often at the front of the pack. What I love is when funeral vases by the dozen show up at the scrap yard an no one sees nothing.

This operation is just part of the overall plan to get Michigan's economy back on track. Or part of it. Specifically the part up toward the tip of your little finger as you make the traditional palm-map of the state, namely East Jordan, MI, where they make lots of sewer grates and manhole covers and other nineteenth-century stuff.

Keep on stealin', boys. We appreciate the replacement business.

Isn't there still a notorious prison conveniently located in Joliet? BTW, thanks for the info on the funeral vases. I thought I might not learn anything useful on the internet today.

"What were you arrested for kid?"

"Stealing sewer grates."

And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, holding their noses.

Grate expectations, foiled.

They all look like Sewer Greats to me.

So, Ralph, we're doing Dickens jokes now? Super. That'll come in handy with the various Naked x commits crime y stories. I'm speaking, of course, of Dickens' seminal work, Knickerless Nickleby.

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