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February 27, 2012


A pilot who used his plane's intercom to send birthday greetings to a colleague's mother triggered panic on board after passengers thought he said "bomb" rather than "mom".

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)


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Well, if he'd've said "Mutha" there wouldn't have been such a mishearin' of his real meanin' ... eh?

"I have a Mom on this plane. Take me to Cuba."

Can you imagine how much worse it'd be, had he said
"We gotta mom who's the bomb on board!"???

He should have told the air controller to stop being a
cheap-ass, send a card or call instead. But passing this message on shows the pilot isn't too bright.

Shortly after the plane took off, fighters were scrambled to intercept it, after the pilot greeted one of the flight attendants, whose first name is "John."

"Hi, Jack!"

Michael Casey writes about being an MP at Fort Leonard Wood in the sixties, and escorting a payroll van. This van had been hijacked once already. Casey and his partner were driving some kind of beat-up Military Police car that was prone to getting stuck in neutral, and when they started, the van took off but the car wouldn't go. So one of the MPs said, over the radio, "Money Van! Hold up! Hold up!"

You can imagine the result.

Omni' ... one of my cousins wuz a commercial pilot for many years ... his first name is John ... I've known him as "Jack" since I wuz about five years old ... I allus thot about whut I'd say if I happened to be on a flight of his and the Captain came back to visit me in the passenger area ... IANMTU ... no, I didn't ever fly on his airline ... so I never got that chance to go to jail ... "Tirty-tree arrests, and NO convictions!"

On another flight, where the Alitalia crew has been informed by radio that the pilot's wife just gave birth a week earlier than scheduled:

"Ladies and a-gentlemen, the pilot's a Dad!"

But did he have a gub?

Good thing the colleague wasn't named " Adam " .

It's easy to be misunderstood. That happens to me when I have been drinking on a plane. Wait...

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